Rant Archives

Well, at least the debate on whether or not the g-spot exists got a little thicker.

Thinking the G-spot exists is SO 2009. Welcome to 2010, where researchers at King’s College London claim to have to put an end to the G-spot debate stating that the collection of delightful nerves inside the vagina is non-existent. I’m sorry, but your entire g-spot toy collection will have to be given to the goodwill. You’ve been wasting your time and all those earth-shattering orgasms you’ve had — well, those weren’t real. Consider yourself Punk’d, or Grafenberg’d, if you will.

This of course would all be the case if that study actually made a lick of sense. One would assume that if they were going to finally decide if the G-spot existed that they would simply hire Rick Moranis, shrink his nebbish self, slap him inside a vagina and have him search away with his cute little glasses and a headlamp. But no, these scientists were too cheap and lazy to hire Rick Moranis! In fact, these researchers used no tools whatsoever to measure physiological response in women, instead they stuck to the survey method. By interviewing 1,804 British women between the ages of 23 and 83, all either identical or non-identical twins, they found that the results showed that identical twins (who share the same genes) often did not match in reporting g-spot sensation, and only 56% of women overall reported any such sensation.

Where the researchers truly screwed the pooch (poor dog) is by claiming that the G-spot doesn’t exist and this sensation is a matter of subjectivity. Simply because almost half of the women they surveyed claimed no sensation does not mean that the other half, let alone all women who have enjoyed g-spot stimulation, are full of shit. Don’t attempt to further put down women’s right for sexual pleasure by claiming that what gives some of them damn fine orgasms is simply a figment of their imagination. The main researcher of the study claimed that she did not want women who don’t yet have g-spot sensation to feel inadequate. This I completely agree with, there are plenty of other ways to seek and gain sexual pleasure, but don’t knock down the right to get off for others during this pursuit! How about we spend the time and resources towards educating young women about sex for pleasure, for bonding and for release. Take the time to push for healthy and safe sexual exploration so that people can find what turns them on, what gets them going and what gets them off. Surely this is a far better use of time and money than further pathologizing sexual pleasure for women. But of course this is just the ravings of a mad man.

To read more on this study, click HERE

For resources on exploring your or your partners G-spot, the following links may be helpful:
- Good Vibrations list of Guides and Videos
- I highly recommend Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot

- Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot: Not Your Mother’s Orgasm Book! (Positively Sexual)

(c) jizznasty.com

A recent medical article in the New England Journal of Medicine purports that out of 100 men and women who have throat or tonsil cancer, 72 percent of them have the cancerous HPV-16 strain. While the article explicitly states that this cancer is incredibly rare and that even if you have oral HPV it doesn’t necessarily mean you automatically get oral cancer, all the headlines and bullitens states “THROAT CANCER CAUSED BY ORAL HPV.”

While I understand the need to inform the public of possible health risks, these fucking scare tactics are TIRED! Are they utilizing these tactics to protect the public or to stop people from being sexual.

“Suck a cock, get cancer!”

“Lick a cunt, say goodbye to your throat!”

I’m sorry, but this is pretty fucking ridiculous. We’re already shown the worse-case scenario pictures of STD’s from the CDC when we’re “taught” about sex in high school. Do we need to consistently pressure this negative view of sexuality upon the public? Obviously, I am aware of the risks involved with sex…duh bitches. But must this be our sole focus in order to keep all of us healthy, sane and safe sexy beings?

By the way, this form of cancer accounts for only 2% of cancer cases between 1997-2001 (source).

Meaning, .00011% of the US population will have this form of throat cancer (source)(feel free to tell me my math is fucked up).

So WATCH OUT!!!

More on HPV.

This isn’t about sex. I could make up some things on gender identifiers (which I’ll probably write on soon), and I know RAZR’s suck (i had one for a year, ew), but man…purple.

Yum.

As you may be aware, a few months ago the Governor of

Texas, Rick Perry,
ordered to make the recently released HPV vaccine,
Gardasil, mandatory
for girls in Texas between the ages of 9 and 12. This was an amazing move
for multiple reasons. First, the vaccine has been a hot button issue
for quite some time. Many conservatives and other right-wing thinkers
believe that giving young girls this vaccine against HPV will result in the
girls believing they have a free ticket to all the hot, promiscuous,
unprotected
sex
they can get their hands on. I won’t get into the obvious flaws in that argument. Second, Gov. Perry
went over the heads of Texas State legislation and lawmakers by creating this mandate on his own without a house vote.

Earlier today, Texas legislators passed a ban against Perry’s HPV vaccine mandate. This ban will hold back
the HPV vaccine mandate for four years. The next 10 days are going to be big for sexual health rights. Perry has
to sign or veto the ban in the next 10 days, however, the legislature can nix the veto with a two-thirds house vote.
This will create a big back and forth, back and forth, giving credence to my first question when I moved to Texas a year
and a half ago, “what other disasters happen in Texas other than it’s politics?”

The legislature is stating that pushing this mandate back four years will decrease the possibility of inflicting school
girls with the possible “unknown” side effects from this vaccine. However, this vaccine was in trial for over 5 years and
included over 25,000 women from 33 countries. So far the only side-effect from this vaccine is soreness at the site of
injection. Sounds pretty bloody safe to me!

Do you believe that this concept of safety is just a guise to control sexual desire and rights as well as sexual safety?
Seriously, since when have politicians been so concerned with a woman’s health?

Info on HPV

Info on the HPV Vaccine

Last wednesday the Supreme Court upheld the “Partial Birth Abortion” ban of 2003, striking one more step towards the complete reversal of Roe v. Wade. I don’t want to spend too much of this post on the technicalities of what the late term abortion ban dealt with, however I will go over a few important points. This ban was brought back to the Supreme Court in order to decide whether or not this was constitutional. The reason behind the trepidation was because the ban lacked any exceptions for the health of the woman. This form of abortion is incredibly rare, it is not an easy procedure to say the least, and it is not a form of birth control. The late term abortion is conducted only when serious health risks to the mother can be avoided, or when the fetus will be still-born.

Time and time again you will hear, “there’s no way they (the man) will reverse Roe V. Wade.” That’s correct, there will most likely never be a time when the Supreme Court will have in front of them a decision to completely wipe out Roe V. Wade. However, they will, and currently are, attacking Women’s health, Women’s rights, Women’s choice using a very tiny chipping hammer. By attacking Late Term Abortion, our current Government is merely taking baby (bad pun) steps towards eradicating sexual health, freedom and agency.

“But this is such a rare procedure, it barely ever happens so who will this ban effect?” You fucking regurgitating from Fox News, indecisive, swing-voter. That’s not the point, this ban is more symbolic than anything else. South Dakota just reversed a ban on abortion, but chances are the ban will come back again.

- Pharmacists in most countries are allowed to deny a customer the morning after pill if they are morally against it.

- California recently attempted to pass a law stating that any woman under the age of 18 who had an abortion had to notify their parents (not entirely safe all the time).

- A bill in Texas is being considered wherein the state would offer women $500 to keep a baby to term and give it up for adoption rather than having an abortion. $500!

My point is, there will never be a time when a full reversal is put in front of legislation. Our current administration cuts down the entirity of this debate into bite size pieces and offers it to the public for comfortable digestion. Be careful, these may not seem like unholy abominations against women’s health rights, but put together this becomes one big Frankenstein monster that will bite you in the ass.

Finally, look who is making the decision for you…this goes for men too.

Notice all the rich white hetero men?

This is a first installment of a (probably non-existent) series of definitions of theoretical constructs defined by a completely sleep-deprived, inane, mentally exhausted idiot.

New Wave Anthropology

A particular methodology of post-colonial work studying non-dominant, non-western (read: non-white) cultures (read: tribes) headed by androgynous 1980′s electro-pop icons.

Example

They Marry Humans!

Gary Numan’s exploration of the marital habits of a remote tribe on the island of New Guinea.

Hi David,

Leif

____________________________________

Leif,

You’ve hit the nail right on the head. Because it’s been a long time since you’ve last gotten dirty, the anxiety is building up stronger and stronger. However, I’d have to say, you got to ask yourself, where are you getting the idea of what length of time is too long? The anxiety is probably stemming from, “Oh jebus, it’s been so long, I’m out of practice, I’m going to fuck up and not fuck right!” While there may be a few issues of getting comfortable with the situation, I think you’ll do fine. The other thing is you mention losing “boner hormones” (which, by the way I’m definitely stealing that term for when I write papers or books), this sort of thing is not a limited resource. You’re always going to have it (save physiological abnormalities or prostate cancer), and these boner hormones are always going to be there for you. The lack of libido could be a defense mechanism, your forcing yourself not to get too interested in sex because you don’t want to deal with the possible anxiety of going through the hot act of bumping uglies. Unfortunately this is one of those situations where you just have to find your comfort zone and go with it. It’s not hard advice, but it’s something you have to work on. If you’re one to take risks, then definitely go for it.

One option is that with the next person you’re about to fuck, if you’re comfortable enough, explain the situation to them. Don’t give them you’re whole sexual history, just say that you’ve had time off from the sex and you’re getting back into the swing of things. If they don’t respond kindly to your request, then they’re probably not the person you want to be with anyhow.

So just try to realize that there is no set length of time in between acts of sexin’ that makes it “too long,” and that you’re still damn young and can, as the immortal words of Eddie Murphy, “party all the time.” Then your next task is to find someone who you’re totally comfortable with. Be willing to take risks, one night of bad romping is not going to kill your ego forever.

Just keep practicing, as it were!

Hey David,

I was on SSRIs for the entirety of adolescence, starting before
menarche or noticeable pubescence. Six months ago, I stopped taking
these drugs for the first time in seven/eight years, fully expecting
the solipsist’s apocalypse. Neither happened. The following bears
mentioning though: the change in both worldview and identity is
pervasive and psychologically unintelligible, as there appears to be
no clinical lexicon for withdrawal from prescribed, non-addictive
psychoactive drugs.

SSRIs have extreme sexual side-effects, which has only become clear
to me now. This is my first time experiencing unimpeded sexuality,
and not just in the psychologically repressive sense. I cannot render
intelligible the problems this has caused, aside from saying that
it’s difficult to accept a new part of my personality which existed
previously in a strangulated form, and the knowledge that this
previous form was artificial creates further complications.

Here is the actual question. As someone with more professional
knowledge of psychiatry, what type of “great leap forward” would you
recommend? Recovery from addiction typically indicates that you
should wait a year after getting sober to begin dating––given the
baggage I now know I carry, does this apply? Experience with
psychiatrists indicates to me that they are either unprepared to
help, or the clinical tools they use to treat patients are
insufficient or unhelpful to me (i.e. recommending I go back on
antidepressants). I don’t mean to paint with broad strokes here, but
it’s difficult to create a knowledgeable support system when said
support questions your sanity should you disagree with them. While I
understand there is no one right way, I fail to see even one way, let
alone a right one, wherein solipsistic neuroses have some common
lexicon or categorical precedent to use as a reference.

Sincerely,

Gene Shalit

____________________________________

Gene Shalit, ole Gene, Geney Boy, Geney in a Bottle,

You’ve got a fantastic question here. What’s more, you’ve got a whole new
sexual future ahead of you right now. This can be seen as exciting, daunting,
or both. I’d put my money on both. The doors are completely open for you
now, so what do you do with that?

What I find funny is this seems as a sort of “coming out of the closet”
for you, not as in telling people you are sexual again, but this changes
you’re view of the world and of yourself and your sexuality. Now you
have to go about making sense of all these things with a different
perspective. Being that I already know you I have the benefit of knowing
your academic history, otherwise I would suggest reading some good books
on queer
theory. Not because of the “queer” aspect, but because of the theory’s
perspective on society and sexuality.

I wouldn’t necessarily go for the 12 step model, seems a little too drastic.
While you may have baggage from all these meds, as well as testing out your
new and improved and non-psychopharm-doped up self, I think you may be
ready to take on some new relationships and sexual experiences without
worrying about dragging someone into your luggage. However, I do recommend
baby steps. Don’t be the teenager who just discovers their sexuality and
goes and fucks willy nilly. Not that there’s anything wrong with debaucherous
fun, I just believe you need to be in a comfortable self-actualized state of
being to fully appreciate it and be able to take on any unforeseen troubles.

So a slow and steady beginnings of a relationship wouldn’t hurt and would
be a little helpful at this point in time. Attempt to find somewhere you
can be in a safe place, mentally and physically, for you to explore your
new found personalityand sexual-self.

And to totally contradict myself here, allow yourself to take small and
calculated risks. Always playing safe within the boundaries will never
teach you anything or help you grow. Play within those boundaries, then
when the time is right, press against those lines just a little. However,
while doing this take note of how you’re doing, mentally, emotionally and
physically.

So yeah, take caution and avoid heavy relationships, but try out smaller
more light-hearted relationships (slow and steady wins the race) and
be willing to test your boundaries and take contextualized risks to
see how they affect your sense of saftey and desire.

A side note: any psychiatrist who says there are no withdrawal symptoms
to SSRI’s is an utter twat.

Enjoy discovering your new self and happy desire hunting!!

The mention of the fork shaped patches seemed to go over well in my most recent post on cocksucking. Therefore I’m wondering what the readers think about patches for other sexual proclivities.

Sure there is the hanky code, but that is primarily in the gay male and S/m community…and just handkerchiefs.

So how about an arts n’ crafts style of indicators. Preferably patches in the shape of an object that has NOTHING to do with the act it conveys. And I’m not talking about the exact opposite, no peace symbol patches for being into heavy flagellating.

Examples: Turkey patch for those who are into toe-sucking. Shoe Lace for cunnilingus. Orange for gentle back caresses.

And so on and so forth.

So, any ideas? Feel free to create these images and post them on the comments section of the blog!

Where can I meet another girl with a cocksucking fetish? I had an ex that dragged me into the bathroom 2 or 3 times a day (in addition to other activities), even while company was over. I loved going down on her enthusiasticly, so it was quid pro quo (although she would never ask), but it was most effective stress reduction arrangements I’ve ever experienced, and rather hard to replicate. All she would need was a tickle to get off when my cock was in her mouth. I prefer to take the time for more satisfying mutual engagements, but one can be so very busy. Advice?

Lazy Bastard

_______________________________________

Look on a dating personals site, you lazy bastard!

So how do you catch a caring cocksucker to caress your cock again? Let me ask you this, did you ever notice that she constantly wore a patch sewn into her jeans in the shape of a fork? Yes, you say? “How did you know that?!” you ask?
Well all cocksucker fetishistic cute girls (CFCG) wear that patch to signify to other girls in their secret society who they are. It’s kind of a territorial thing. One CFCG see’s another in a bar and knows that the bar is her territory for the
sucking of the cock. So there you go, travel around to different bars and look carefully for girls who wear a small fork patch on their right leg. Or if you like to be the one who teaches someone the secret art of fellating, then find yourself
a girl sans fork patch.

If by chance, you are unfortunate enough to live in an area without a CFCG chapter, don’t despair. An obvious tactic is to just go for the one night stands. Oral sex has become such a common act within making the sex that you are bound to get a good (or decent, but maybe horrible) blowjob out of it. However, it sounds like you want some sort of emotional connectivity within your sexual acts, as well as something on a regular basis. Therefore the random one night stands or even friends with benefits might not work out too well.

Which brings us to the main question. How do you find a nice lil cocksucker for you to be in some type of relationship with? Unfortunately there are no visual cues or vocal or facial ticks that you can base your decision on in order to find the appropriate cocksucking girl for you. Therefore you just have to press your luck. Lucky for you that what you desire isn’t so deviant (like diaper play, etc) that the odds will be against you. However, you want the fellating to occur on quite a regular basis. This my friend, is not something you can expect every girl you come across to be willing to do, with or without your willingless to lap up their clit with your tongue.

The mere fact that you are just as willing to reciprocate sexually (as you say you do), increases your chances to be with someone who will enjoy sucking on your cockula, but the frequency will depend on the girl. When you find yourself with a girl that you want to be a cocksucking fetishist, perhaps bring up the fact that you really enjoy a rigorous blowjob on a regular basis (I know it sounds weird coming from a guy, but trust me) and that you want to reciprocate and make this all sexy and fun. The last thing you want to do is make it seem like an obligatory chore, “the only way to make me happy and stress-free is by sucking me off a few times a day.”

Happy cocksucker hunting!!