Desire Archives

ORGASM!

Recently a friend, lets call her Ms. A., contacted me with an interesting occurrence in her sex life. She wrote to me explaining that starting about six months to a year ago whenever she would become highly aroused or near orgasm detailed images would flash in front of her. In her first experience with this she saw a depiction of a forest covered in snow. Other times she would see flying saucers, castles in the moon light and fireworks. These images never lasted longer than a split second flash. The main point of her contacting me was, “is this normal?” To be totally honest my initial reaction to hearing this was, “I WANT THAT!” Seems like the intense sort of orgasms people strive for. I’m looking at you Michael Hutchence. Too soon?

A part of me wondered if there was an aspect of disassociation going on here, where the experience is so intense that she takes herself to another place. However, this didn’t seem like such an instance because they’re quick flashes rather than complete disassociation. Another idea that crossed my mind grapes was the idea that she’s getting a surge of endorphins that are flooding her brain in a way that all these intense emotions and imagery associated with positive feelings are flashing in front of her (a theory that was later confirmed by a friend, which I will discuss in a bit).

I wanted to know more about these awesome flashes so I asked her a few probing (har har) questions. Her point of view in these flashes are not internal, she’s watching these scenes from afar. The only time she has these flashes are when her boyfriend goes down on her. Go boyfriend, go! The images regarding winter scenes are the most vivid, but she said she is most obsessed with that particular season. God help this woman if she goes skiing. After the act of sexing and orgasm she states that she likes to remember the images because they are “artistically beautiful.” I’d imagine those scenes are from now on etched in the pleasure center of her brain.

A little bit after Ms. A. contacted me I had a conversation with Ms. B. I mentioned a friend of mine who was having flashes of intense and beautiful images when highly aroused or near orgasm. Ms. B. nodded knowingly. Wait, did I just find another flash orgasmer?! I did! Ms. B. explained that she has been having these flashes of images with orgasm since her very first petit mort . She explained that her first orgasm was accompanied by a wine glass. Sadly, her next orgasm was interrupted with a quick flash of a close up of Patrick Stewart’s face. Engage! What Ms. B experiences that Ms A does not is that Ms B’s images change and distort when her orgasms get more intense. Patrick Stewarts face, for example, stretched from top to bottom getting thinner and thinner until it disappeared.

ENGAGE!

So I think we can all agree that this, my friends, is all sorts of amazing! Does anyone else experience this? Or does anyone experience something similar to this? Please let us know, you can comment below confidentially (entering in fake information), if you so desire.

(C) BBC America

This weeks’ Fetish Friday is geared (har har) towards those who have sex with their cars. So far I’ve only come across instances of men who are sexually interested in their cars. The instances of women sexualizing their cars are only in terms of women being sexualized by not knowing how to control their cars, car stuck fetish and pedal pumping, as an example. I must admit, when I first heard about this I immediately thought of the scene in Beverly Hills Cop where Eddie Murphy put a banana in the cops tail pipe…except the banana is a penis…get it? Unfortunately it’s not that comical or at the very least that painful. Hot metal and sharp edges, oh baby I like it raw.

In most of the cases I’ve seen the men caress the cars, rub themselves up against the body, and mostly masturbate near or on the car area. Sometimes the cars are their own, i.e. their partner, and other times they do a little sneaky jerk on someone elses automobile. In this case, a man was arrested on three separate occasions for masturbating on the hoods of other peoples cars. In an interview with a mechanic from the UK, he admits/brags about having an exhaust pipe widened in order to fit his presumably ginormous penis. That car is such a size queen.

Perhaps my favorite account of this fetish is depicted in the made for TV documentary by BBC America “My Car is My Lover.” BBC America, never one to give up on documenting the bizarre, arranged for two car fetishists to take a road trip (brilliant idea) to meet each other at a car convention. I imagine BBC America supplied the extra pants, because the men are ejaculating in their own…their own pants…because of all the cars. What I truly enjoyed about this documentary is that they explored the relationships these men carry with their own cars and how they view cars around them. I’ve embedded the first part of the series on YouTube below. Beneath the video are the links to the rest of the show if you want to watch the rest, and I think you do. Thank you to my friends Seth & Amy who introduced me to the documentary!

Enjoy!

Part 1:

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Wii has been associated with sex since it first came out

A young British woman has recently come forward stating that after falling off of her Nintendo Wii Fit board she has been diagnosed with Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (also known as Restless Genital Syndrome, no joke). After her slip up, Amanda Flowers of Manchester, explained that even the slightest vibrations, from cell phones to food processors turn her on and get her going, according to the Daily Star article. Easily being turned on resulted in Ms. Flowers requiring up at 10 sexing sessions a day.

The doctor that diagnosed her says that this syndrome is a result of nerve damage from the fall. It wasn’t explicitly stated, but I assume it’s pudental nerve entrapment (PNE). PNE involves the pudendal nerve in the pelvis becoming entrapped or compressed. This can lead to pain, incontinence, impotence or sexual dysfunction. Luckily for this woman her dysfunction is full of joy. However, the definition of dysfunction is something that impedes your normal functioning. Requiring up to 10 sexual sessions a day can definitely sound fun, but will surely interfere with daily functioning (and increase chafing).

I’m just looking forward to the disclaimer that will hopefully come with the Wii stating, “improper use of Wii may result in restless genitals.”

Because it’s Friday, I’ve got a glass of wine, a laptop and I just don’t wanna study for finals anymore!

Sue Johanson discusses how sex while pregnant doesn’t mean you’re knock, knock, knockin’ on a your babies head.

Followed by a great mix of Sue moments:

An anonymous e-card informing past partners of potential infection via http://inspot.org/

April is National STD Awareness Month recognized by the CDC. Have you had your STDs checked out? Let’s start with a little stats, shall we? In 2008, there was 1.2 million newly reported cases of chlamydia. For syphilis, California ranked “10 among 50 states” where the rate among males was 11.4 per 100,000 population versus the U.S. male rate of 7.6 per 100,000 (stats sheet). Let’s not forget that gonorrhea is at risk of becoming a superbug. It’s not that I’m trying to scare you into getting tested, it’s that I’m trying to make your sex that much hotter. Without being concerned if you are infected because you are using proper safer sex techniques and getting regularly tested, you can enjoy some of that dirty beast sexing. You can search for testing centers closet to you by using the CDC supported search page. And just to put it out there, after you get tested you can submit an anonymous review to me so I that can post the review on my blog for others to use in making an informed choice for getting tested.

One of the many great ways of protecting yourself is having an open and honest talk with your new/existing sexual partner. When was the last time they had sex? What does sex mean to them? Did they use protection during sex? When was the last time they were tested? This is not to be substituted with actual protection and testing, but it’s a great communication exercise with your partner, as well as building trust. Don’t think this kind of conversation can be sexy? Think again. Try not to think of this as giving your partner a checklist, but getting to know your partner better *insert happy Disney music here*. This kind of conversation, coupled with safer sex techniques and regular testing will keep you on the high road to a happy, healthy and delicious sex life, my friends.

While we’re discussing STD’s, lets delve into another aspect of sexuality I like to discuss — advertising.

First off, I’d like to present my favorite STD awareness ad FAIL entitled “homoboy,”  wherein the San Francisco Department of Public Health tried to reached out to men of color who have sex with men and used the tagline “Don’t Be a Bitch, Use a Condom.” Um, excuse me? Let’s take a look, shall we?

First off, by stating that the audience was “men of color who have sex with men” assumes that all men of color maintain a masculine, thuggish personality, and secondofly (yes, that’s a word), it’s obviously playing on the whole Down Low phenomena/scare by adding the woman at the bottom of the poster. The language and images the ad uses is insulting, in my not so humble opinion.

Some of my favorite advertisements are as follows:

In 2007 I posted two videos by a French AIDS awareness campaign that I found to be pretty damn adorable, check out the videos HERE.

Recently the Berkeley Free Clinic created an ad encouraging the local community to use their clinic, watch below:

Berkeley Free Clinic Ad:

And the great Buck Angel created a Public Cervix Announcement for Trans Men:

What are your favorite STD awareness advertisements?

Related Posts:

How Are Your STDs?
Condoms Prevent Genocide

Who doesn’t love balloons?! They’re round, squishy, cause static fun happy times, and make a horrible squeaking sound when you rub your fingers against them all slow-like. Balloon fetishists, also known as “looners,” get turned on from watching others blowing up balloons and popping them either with using a sharp object, sitting on them, or blowing them up until they burst. Most explain that they are turned on from the popping because of the tension built up before the explosion and the release from the burst. Others express interest in the feel of the latex. Loonists aren’t specific to sexual identity, there are looners who are straight and gay.

Enjoy these videos made for looners!

Check out these videos and books on ballon fetishes:

Inside Sexplorations. Photo Credit: Betsy Dorsett.

The first Thursday of every month, The Exploratorium holds a special night called “After Dark.” Each After Dark event showcases the scientific aspects behind “adult interests,” whether it be alcohol, sex or fashion. On February 4th, After Dark presented their program on all things sexual entitled “Sexplorations.” In between visiting the bar, patrons can check out live dissections of testicles, learn about the sex life of orchids and insects, and see the inner workings of vibrators. Want to know what testicles taste like? They offered that. Pined away trying to figure out which animal has the biggest sperm? It’s the fruit fly, that little bastards’ sperm is bigger than itself. Frankly, Sexplorations was a Valhalla for sex bio geeks, but a frustrating experience for those who are more interested in the cultural history of sex and sexuality. I was somewhere in between.

The keynote speech of the night was by Mary Roach, the author of Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. Along with Bonk, Roach has written Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife. More recently, Roach gained popularity from her featured lecture at TED Talks, entitled “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasm” (Video of the lecture posted below). Roach’s humorous and thoughtful approach towards her study on sexual research was full of embarrassing and insightful aspects of sexuality researchers.

To begin, Roach discussed how being a sex researcher can be a bit awkward, how even just telling people what kind of work you do can get a bit embarrassing depending on the other persons reaction. As an example of the awkward aspects of being asexuality researcher Roach discussed a one Dr. Brimley who discovered a type of substance that when injected right into the penis can cause an impressive erection. Completely excited about this he showed up to his next black and white affair wearing a flimsy track suit. As the men and women wore expensive suits and glamorous gowns, Dr. Brimley walked around pulling the fabric to his track pants back to show the outline of his hard on. The guests looked appalled and the Doctor couldn’t understand why they weren’t impressed by his tumescence.

At points Mary Roach reiterated her TED Talks lecture, even showing the notorious romancing the pig video, but overall it was great to see her discuss her research and experience with sex researchers live. One unfortunate aspect that came up through her lecture was the lack of diversity in much of the sex research she encountered. Most of the researchers she interviewed were studying strictly heterosexual forms of sex for the purpose of reproduction. The more exciting aspects of her lecture were times when she met with a woman who could orgasm just through thought. The problem is that little biological and physiological research is being done when discussing non-heterosexual sex, other than when researchers want to find difference in brain size or finger length. However, I did appreciate that much of Roach’s book is dedicated to research on pleasure and orgasm, and seemingly not for the purpose of making desire abnormal.

Towards the end of her lecture, Mary Roach discussed coming across fascinating articles like “Observations of In Utero Fetal Masturbation,” where sonograms of little fetuses tugging it were the feature exhibit of the research study. Mary Roach then ended with a list she received from an article on foreign bodies found in the rectums of ER patients: frozen pig tails, hairspray can “incarcerated in a 37 year-old lawyer,” spatula, jewelers saw, and four hundred and two stones. Things that make you go “ow!”

Below is Mary Roach’s TED Talks lecture, “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasm,” if you’d like to view the video with one of fifteen translated subtitles or view the transcript, click here to view the video on the TED website.

To read more or purchase her books, follow the links below:

Sploshing is a fetish involving (mostly) women covered & messy from food or mud. Popularized in England, these women are filthed up with a variety of food including, but not limited to, baked beans, cream, macaroni and cheese, chocolate and custard. The reason behind the turn on from this, like many other fetishes, could be one of numerous reasons. One might enjoy the imagery of a woman getting dirty, deviating from her prim and properness and in an essence losing her innocence. Others might enjoy the tactile feel of the food on skin, and some may just enjoy including a sense of humor in their sex life. How else can you make you and your partner share some giggles other than by shoving a Boston Cream Pie in their face? But let’s also mention the obvious here, shall we? Some might argue that Sploshing largely involves degrading and humiliating women by covering them in food, something women are socially made responsible for preparing in the household. However, this brings in the argument of what happens between two consenting adults as long as it isn’t physically and emotionally harmful should be completely allowed. Thoughts on this, people?

For a little giggle, let’s watch British comedian Graham Norton graciously interview a few Sploshers to gain a better understanding behind this fetish:

View on YouTube.

Enjoy the following youtube videos. Note: you most likely have to be signed in to YouTube to watch these videos since food not going in the mouth is purely adult in nature.

View on YouTube.

View on YouTube.

If you’d like to watch other videos, read more on the subject or discuss sploshing with other enthusiasts, check out the official Splosh site.

Are you a splosher? Care to share some insight?

Others, would you partake in sploshing if your partner asked you to?

Well, at least the debate on whether or not the g-spot exists got a little thicker.

Thinking the G-spot exists is SO 2009. Welcome to 2010, where researchers at King’s College London claim to have to put an end to the G-spot debate stating that the collection of delightful nerves inside the vagina is non-existent. I’m sorry, but your entire g-spot toy collection will have to be given to the goodwill. You’ve been wasting your time and all those earth-shattering orgasms you’ve had — well, those weren’t real. Consider yourself Punk’d, or Grafenberg’d, if you will.

This of course would all be the case if that study actually made a lick of sense. One would assume that if they were going to finally decide if the G-spot existed that they would simply hire Rick Moranis, shrink his nebbish self, slap him inside a vagina and have him search away with his cute little glasses and a headlamp. But no, these scientists were too cheap and lazy to hire Rick Moranis! In fact, these researchers used no tools whatsoever to measure physiological response in women, instead they stuck to the survey method. By interviewing 1,804 British women between the ages of 23 and 83, all either identical or non-identical twins, they found that the results showed that identical twins (who share the same genes) often did not match in reporting g-spot sensation, and only 56% of women overall reported any such sensation.

Where the researchers truly screwed the pooch (poor dog) is by claiming that the G-spot doesn’t exist and this sensation is a matter of subjectivity. Simply because almost half of the women they surveyed claimed no sensation does not mean that the other half, let alone all women who have enjoyed g-spot stimulation, are full of shit. Don’t attempt to further put down women’s right for sexual pleasure by claiming that what gives some of them damn fine orgasms is simply a figment of their imagination. The main researcher of the study claimed that she did not want women who don’t yet have g-spot sensation to feel inadequate. This I completely agree with, there are plenty of other ways to seek and gain sexual pleasure, but don’t knock down the right to get off for others during this pursuit! How about we spend the time and resources towards educating young women about sex for pleasure, for bonding and for release. Take the time to push for healthy and safe sexual exploration so that people can find what turns them on, what gets them going and what gets them off. Surely this is a far better use of time and money than further pathologizing sexual pleasure for women. But of course this is just the ravings of a mad man.

To read more on this study, click HERE

For resources on exploring your or your partners G-spot, the following links may be helpful:
- Good Vibrations list of Guides and Videos
- I highly recommend Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot

- Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot: Not Your Mother’s Orgasm Book! (Positively Sexual)

This should be called “Fetish of the Weak” because these men are so puny and helpless (on their own accord and in the interest of satiating their desires) and must be lifted and carried by strong women.

That’s right folks, this weeks’ fetish is “Lift and Carry,” where very strong (usually) women lift up and carry around (usually) men. Some may think that this is a subset of infantilism (adult babies), however I’d venture to simply put this is in the submissive set of kink being that this generally revolves around giving up control and perhaps even being taken care of. However, I wouldn’t go forth and say this is the only reason, as I imagine that there are an incredibly diverse amount of reasons why individuals become erotically charged by Lift and Carry. Hell, looks fun to me!

Let’s watch some youtube videos on this, shall we?

The song in this one is an interesting choice.




Ok, this also has a pretty interesting song choice. Evanescence? really? Ok, I get the “Wake Me Up Inside,” nice touch.







Before you jump to the conclusion that this is “weird,” just think about how for some, giving up control is an amazingly erotic and powerful experience. Just as it can be incredibly pleasurable to take control. And I don’t know about you, but I could really go for someone lifting me up and having me do the helicopter on their legs. Just saying is all.

Thanks to Justin C. for letting me know about lift and carry.