Product Descriptions
Thursday July 6th, 2006 in Life | Comments Off
Currently I’m working for a company helping them write product descriptions for sex toys for their website. Needless to say I’ve been having a blast. However, I’ve had a hard time not being sarcastic or non-sequitor. For each masturbation sleeve I simply want to write:
“This less than adequate stimulator is a constant reminder of just how lonely you are in this world.”
Here are some product descriptions I have written so far. Feedback is always welcome:
Jenna’s Vibrating Mouth: “Finally, after hours of watching Jenna’s grogeous mouth service other men, she can service you. This fiberoptic luminescent clear mold of Jenna Jameson’s mouth comes with 10-speed multi function control, guaranteed to make you come…back for more.”
Party Gal, Glow in the Dark doll:
“Party Gal will light up your party with her glow in the dark skin. Perfect novelty item for any party. No love passages.”
Dental Dam: “The silky thin 10″ x 6″ latex sheet is the perfect tool for protection during oral sex. No need to hack at that condom with a pair of scissors to make a dam anymore!”
Biker Babe Love Doll:
“She’ll jump on your hog, get out on that highway and ride you till dawn. This life like, colorful playdoll has 3 entries to get your motor running. ”
Obviously I’m not doing such a good job at keeping these descriptions serious.
