Archive for March, 2007

See, not all Persians are beheading terrorists freaks.

Here’s the letter from one of the British captives:

“I am writing to inform you of my situation. I am a British serviceperson currently being held in Iran. I would like you all to know of the treatment I have received whilst here. The Iranian people are kind, considerate, warm, compassionate and very hospitable. They have brought me no harm but have looked after me well. I have been fed, clothed and well cared for.

Unfortunately during the course of our mission we entered into Iranian waters. Even through our wrongdoing, they have still treated us well and humanely, which I am and always will be eternally grateful.

I ask the representatives of the House of Commons, after the government have promised that this type of incident would not happen again, why have they let this occur, and why has the government not been questioned over this? Isn’t it time for us to start withdrawing our forces from Iraq and let them determine their own future?

Faye Turney

27/3/07”
www.guardian.co.uk

A lot of people are assuming this situation will lead to an invasion into Iran. Really? Is that so? Why the hell would the UK or the States do that? For 15 soldiers? Why would they essentially set a second step to another World War when resources are down. I’m sorry, but Iranian forces are strong. Much stronger than Iraqi forces. Why do you think the States invaded Iraq? Easy target. Meanwhile N. Korea, who actually has missiles, is being ignored.

Iranians are tough, and their pride is a huge defense system. They make their point, but they do it humanely. However, the media is starting to call this a “hostage crisis”, referencing back to the late 70′s when Iran took seige of the American Embassy for over a year.

Calm down people, this isn’t a hostage crisis. They’re not hostages, they fucked up. And this certaintly isn’t a crisis.

Cheers!

This is a first installment of a (probably non-existent) series of definitions of theoretical constructs defined by a completely sleep-deprived, inane, mentally exhausted idiot.

New Wave Anthropology

A particular methodology of post-colonial work studying non-dominant, non-western (read: non-white) cultures (read: tribes) headed by androgynous 1980′s electro-pop icons.

Example

They Marry Humans!

Gary Numan’s exploration of the marital habits of a remote tribe on the island of New Guinea.

Dr. Feelquestionable asks:

_______________________________________________________

Well let me start off by saying that when I was a junior in high school I had the hots
for my spanish teacher. She was new to the school, had this really strong, abrasive,
sarcastic east coast mentality to her. The moment I got to know her I was putty. I would
stay after class and talk with her, make jokes, make her laugh, then within an instant
change the subject to politics or on some horrible social injustice (she definitely
had this social rights movement feel to her). She then mentioned that since we lived close
to each other we should meet up for coffee during the weekend. I agreed. We met for coffee,
chatted a lot. Did the whole gazing into each others eyes while we made borderline insensitive
jokes and commisserated about the town we lived in. We both had a pessimistic, but sarcastic
view of the world. During our second cup of coffee she asked me if I wanted to join her for
dinner, I pretended to think about it and then said sure. She took me to her house to hang
out while she changed, my adolescent mind went wild with all the possible scenarios that could
happen. The Japanese room divider in her tiny studio apartment was enough to feel the warmth
from her skin. I am almost certain my voice crackled multiple times while I waited for her
to change. She then drove us to a hole in the wall Korean restaraunt on Geary st. She
told me she had gone there a lot with her ex-husband. Oh yea, she was in the middle of a
divorce, this made my stereotypical thinking which was fueled by all the movies I’d
seen go into overdrive.

Long story short, nothing really came of it. I was 16 and she was 32, she was my
teacher and I was her student when it came down to it. Which leads me to your
question. There is a pretty big barrier between you and her, this invisible
barrier is the heaping amount of ethics, codes of conduct and morals some
may have towards the teacher-student relationship. She may hold those
specific ethics that restrict her from engaging in hot, sultry
teacher-student fucking. But she may not. I say play it cool,
don’t put on a schtick of “::snap:: hey, look at me and look at
what musical notes I know by heart.” You’re a charming motherfucker,
go to her office hours, ask her if she wants to meet for coffee or a drink
to talk about Thomas Dolby and lay down a little bit of humor, a little bit
of intellect, and a little bit of rico suave. Gauge her reactions, see if she
is keeping eye contact, if she’s laughing at your awkward jokes. There may be a
little back and forth on her part of “this isn’t right, I shouldn’t be doing this”
and so on. But just use your patience and see where it takes you. You could be outright
denied, but such is life. There are plenty of other teachers for you to fantasize
about sticking it to.

Look at it as a process, not an overnight solution.

Hi David,

Leif

____________________________________

Leif,

You’ve hit the nail right on the head. Because it’s been a long time since you’ve last gotten dirty, the anxiety is building up stronger and stronger. However, I’d have to say, you got to ask yourself, where are you getting the idea of what length of time is too long? The anxiety is probably stemming from, “Oh jebus, it’s been so long, I’m out of practice, I’m going to fuck up and not fuck right!” While there may be a few issues of getting comfortable with the situation, I think you’ll do fine. The other thing is you mention losing “boner hormones” (which, by the way I’m definitely stealing that term for when I write papers or books), this sort of thing is not a limited resource. You’re always going to have it (save physiological abnormalities or prostate cancer), and these boner hormones are always going to be there for you. The lack of libido could be a defense mechanism, your forcing yourself not to get too interested in sex because you don’t want to deal with the possible anxiety of going through the hot act of bumping uglies. Unfortunately this is one of those situations where you just have to find your comfort zone and go with it. It’s not hard advice, but it’s something you have to work on. If you’re one to take risks, then definitely go for it.

One option is that with the next person you’re about to fuck, if you’re comfortable enough, explain the situation to them. Don’t give them you’re whole sexual history, just say that you’ve had time off from the sex and you’re getting back into the swing of things. If they don’t respond kindly to your request, then they’re probably not the person you want to be with anyhow.

So just try to realize that there is no set length of time in between acts of sexin’ that makes it “too long,” and that you’re still damn young and can, as the immortal words of Eddie Murphy, “party all the time.” Then your next task is to find someone who you’re totally comfortable with. Be willing to take risks, one night of bad romping is not going to kill your ego forever.

Just keep practicing, as it were!

A reader asks:

I am pretty adventurous sexually and fairly rough in bed (not anything scary, no whips or heavy bondage). In the heat of the moment I bite and scratch and whatnot and it’s hard for me to climax without pain inflicted on me as well (again, nothing I could think would be terribly offensive; hairpulling, hard biting, a good spanking). I’ve been having the experience more often of men being freaked out by this. The guys I’ve found myself with over the past five months or so have been chronic cuddlers, getting off on staring-into-each-others-eyes love-making (which is alright every once in a while, but come on) and frankly being turned off by the prospect of biting or being bitten, spanking or being spanked. So I guess the question is, why do some people need pain and others are turned off by it. Biological, psychological, what are the theories out there in regards to pain and what’s your take on it?

________________________________________________

You know, I’ve been hearing that complaint a lot from women who are kinky and have sex with men in our generation these days. They want to be fucked and they want to be fucked hard and they want it with a nice amount of consensual, lustful, pain (sounds fucking hot to me), but such women keep finding men who are totally not into it. I had a friend who had the hardest time just finding a guy who was willing to spank her.

I don’t think it’s a biological thing, as more of a social and cultural influence. Men in our generation were raised to be sensitive and to be non-objectifying (well at least the men we’d want to be around are like that) and thats fucking fantastic, but often what that results in is a very vanilla sexual life. They may see SM only under the context as being violent towards a woman, and they were raised to be completely against that. When in fact it’s consensual and gives an added physiological and chemical boost with a great psychological twist of power differential.

To be reflexive for a moment; it kind of seems like I’m pathologizing
Vanilla folks. Hell, just using the term “vanilla,” adds a qualification to their sexual inklings. This also depends on what
you define as “kinky.” I think a lot more people are “kinky” than they’d define themselves.

As far as why some people like pain, it can be for a multitude of reasons. Biological, psychological, social, etc. Biologically you often get a rush of adrenaline and what not that is created to cope with the pain, but is also quite the fuzzy light-headed high. Psychologically it can feel bloody amazing to be dominated over or to dominate over others in a physical fashion. This can be even more inflated if the person who is being dominated is usually the one that is dominant outside of the sexual context and vice versa. Socially, as I mentioned before, we are trained not to equate sex and violence together. But if you look at any rated R movie, those two are heavily connected. And this can be true in real life sexual relationships. By merely going against the grain and doing something naughty and dirty, this can create the greatest amount of arousal. This obviously doesn’t have to deal only with pain.

For future posts I will focus on sex hormones, their purposes and effects. I’ll most likely write seperately on dopamine, serotonin and my favorite oxytocin!