Archive for June, 2008

(c) Metro.co.uk

Let us say that you are watching porn and decide to have a go at it solo-style. How long is normal for the masturbatory experience? Should you just go at it? Or are you supposed to like try to time yourself so you end with the scene? End of the movie? Personally, I get bored waiting and tend to cue up to parts that I like, but I was once told that was odd so I thought I would ask.

Thanks,
X

Yet another variation of the tried and true question “what’s normal?” Well, the average time it takes for a male to ejaculate is about 3-5 minutes, as Kinsey put it under 2 minutes over 50% of the time is considered “premature.” Personally, I prefer “retarded” ejaculation to premature since it adds for laughs and longer sexing. Anyhow, I digress. I guess my question is who effing cares? You shouldn’t, thats for sure. But you do, and that’s okay. Unless you’re jerking your meat chain 25 times a day, with or without porn, then I wouldn’t worry about what is normal. Seriously, diddling
yourself through the entirety of a porn flick sounds painful and boring. Timing yourself can be a fun little exercise and also aide you in prolonging your stamina. You can masturbate up until a few moments before you feel like you’re going to cum, then hold off and wait, and then have at it again. Make sure not to pinch at the tip of your cockula right before ejaculating thinking it’ll increase your time before ejaculating. If you feel the ejaculate coming up your penis and you pinch the top of your cock all you’re doing is voluntarily engaging in retrograde ejaculation, making the semen go in to your bladder. Yes, ouch.

In the end, do what feels right, time yourself to your favorite part of the erotic flick and have fun. I’d say thats pretty damn normal to me.

(c) wired.com

No longer will old cars and Buena Vista Social Club be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Cuba. In another move towards a more liberalised set of policies, the new president of Cuba, Raul Castro, has authorized offering Cuban citizens free sex changes. Already signed by Cuba’s health minister, Jose Ramon Balaguer, the surgery will be covered by the country’s universal health service. Mariela Castro Espin, daughter of Raul and head of the National Centre for Sex Education initiated this very progressive move. She is also working towards the legalisation of same-sex unions in Cuba, which if approved, would make Cuba the most liberal country in South America in terms of sexual rights. The physicians who will be in charge of said surgeries have been trained by some of the best surgeons from Belgium. Furthermore, a health clinic will be created exclusively for such procedures.

This is a big step away from Cuba’s past LGBT rights infringements such as the Mariel Boat Lift in 1980 where amongst other Cubans, gay men and trans-women were told that they can either leave Cuba or go to jail.

For more information on Cuba offering free sex changes: LINK

(c) istockphoto.com

This is part one in a two part question. First part: Condoms.

Dear Omniphiliac, I was just wondering if you had any pointers for first-time off-the-bat condom usage. To help combat, or deal with, what a colleague of mine has called “total wiggle bullshit,” or TWB. To help the man please the lady (or man) when he’s got a big ol’ slab of desensitizing latex on his schlong and increase, for that matter, the chances of orgasm for the man himself.

Ah yes, the horrible effects of TWB can be incredibly troublesome for both partners. You two are riled up, raring to go, and you’re harder than Chinese algebra, but the moment your cockula sees that dooming latex shield it goes limp. Leaving both of you to look at each other, then look at your dick and say “WTF mate?”

There’s at least two main factors that cause TWB; physical and psychological.

Physical being you ain’t got no sensation, sucker. Or at least the sensation that you do have is nothing like the sensation of flesh on flesh (or should I say, mucous membrane on mucous membrane) loving. One way to combat this is by applying a few drops of your favorite lube inside the condom (penis side) before you put it on. This will allow for additional friction and giving you a little more sensation. However, stay the fuck away from using oil-based lubes (including olive oil you Italian stallion, you), as oil breaks down latex and that is no bueno for both parties, my friend. You can also have your partner give you a good fluffing before and during condom application. Have him or her put it on for you whilst jacking you off, or put it on with their mouth if they’re so inclined. There’s also no shame in using a cock ring. Just because you’re young and virile doesn’t mean you can’t be just a little bit harder. If your partner gives you a dirty look and asks you what you’re doing with that circular contraption, tell her or him that it ensures that the condom stays on (wink wink). Hell, get a vibrating cock ring or one with little nubbies on top to produce a greater chance of turning on your partner as well.

If you’re able to stay hard right after putting on the condom but your dick shrivels up half way through sex, try some different positions that may increase good ol’ friction. A little oral also helps, or just take a break and use another condom a few minutes later if you have to.

Psychological means your thoughtsicles are getting in the way of proper sexing. You may be one hard motherfucker but the moment you pull out that condom you think to yourself “oh jumping jehosaphat, this condom is going to suck, I’m not going to feel a damn thing.” Saying this to yourself–hopefully you’re not saying this out loud as this may scare off your sex partner–will most likely increase the chances that this will be a shitty experience. As I said, having your partner assist in putting on the condom might make this a sexy part of foreplay and you’ll be too busy thinking how hot your partner is to concern yourself with worries of latex-caused doom. This also may be anxiety-related if this was your first time with the partner. Being that you wanted to show off your sexual prowess but might have begun to feel anxious thinking that you won’t impress or please your partner. You’re not going to please everyone all the time, but you sure can try. Try not to work up this image of hot hot sex and just take it all step by step. Over thinking the matter will just bring you doom and gloom. Although this is faulty logic think of it this way, your cock needs all the blood it can take to stay hard, right? So don’t waste that blood in your brain by over thinking the minute details of your loving.

As far as your last question goes regarding increasing chances of you coming to fruition, who says that you have to cum while thrusting away inside your partner? While there is of course the appeal, and sometimes pressure to just finish off while fucking, it can also be sexy to orgasm outside of intercourse. However, your partner should get to choose where you finish off, whether it be on their body, on your hairy hairy stomach or on that tea towel your 2nd cousin gave you for Christmas a few years ago.

Image Credit: Duncan’s TV AD Land

Looks like abstinence-only education advocates are taking another hit after the findings of a large-scale survey on teen sexual activity were recently released. This large government study stated that there is no longer a decline in teenage sexual activity since 2007 and that condom use has leveled out since 2003. This comes after a report that 1 in 4 teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease and that teen birthrate has increased for the first time in 15 years.

While there are many reasons behind the lack of decline in sexual activity amongst teenagers, such as supposed apathy towards sexually transmitted diseases and changing attitudes towards sex, there is a definite blame finger pointed at the good folks of abstinence-only education. “We may be witnessing the beginning of a trend where we’re reaping the harvest of medically inaccurate and ineffective sex education, which is abstinence-until-marriage sex education,” said Michael Resnick, who studies teen sexual behavior at the University of Minnesota. Due to the combination of minimizing the effectiveness of condoms, coupled with the lack of education on how to use a condom, many students will simply opt out of using the contraceptive. If they don’t like the way the latex barrier feels, and they believe it is highly ineffective then why bother using it? However, with comprehensive sex education, there is discussion on how effective condoms are, as well as how to incorporate them into your sex life without it becoming too much of a mood killer.

For more information on the recent study, LINK.

(C) U Toronto

On Tuesday June 3rd, a small town in Greece by the name of Tilos performed the country’s first same-sex marriages. Despite the constant warnings by the Greek government, the mayor of this small island followed through with the marriages. This great moment, although generally not accepted in the country is a wonderful win. Even though Greece is home to many gay bars and resorts, homosexuality is still faced with discrimination.

Since there is a loophole in the civil union laws of Greece wherein it does not specify that such unions can only be between a man and a woman, the mayor decided to follow through with the marriages. As one of the married persons stated, “We did this to encourage other gay people to take a stand,” this is another great and very public way of breaking the silence of discrimination and persecution towards LGBT individuals.

I guess this gives a whole new meaning to “going Greek,” amirite?!

For more information: LINK.

(C) Associated Press

Earlier this month in New York, a 35-year-old man ingested “The Black Stone,” an apparent aphrodisiac that was banned by the FDA. Why would the FDA ban an aphrodisiac? They’re such buzz kills, eh? They’re prudish, sex-negative ne’er do wells. Well that might be the case, however “Black Stone” is made from toad venom which contains chemicals that may disrupt heart rhythms. It’s like the Botox (which contains botulism) for the sexed. The product is also known as Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone and Chinese Rock. At least six men have died from ingesting this substance since the early 1990′s. For more information, click here.

While this is not an epidemic, this is another “aphrodisiac” that’s marketed and sold in sex shops and head shops that not only does nothing to raise the sexual spirits for the night, but could be harmful. For example Spanish Fly does nothing for your sexy mood, but has been known to burn the mouth and throat, cause scarring of the urethra and even death (FDA).

Be very cautious about which aphrodisiacs you purchase, other than chocolate and oysters (unless you’re allergic, of course). I’d recommend avoiding purchasing aphrodisiacs from shady sex shops, head shops and vending machines in bathrooms of truck stops.

Try some foreplay.

Human Rights Watch (HRW) recently came out with a press release on the five convictions of men for being HIV positive. In total, nine men have been convicted on “debauchery” charges. These men were interrogated, asked to give names of other men, and medically examined for receptive anal sex. The HRW has documented that such “medical examinations” constitute torture.

For more information please see the HRW’s press release here.

Tonight I went to a talk hosted by the LGBT Center in San Francisco and HRW on the recent convictions as well as the nature of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) rights in Egypt. The panelists included Maher Sabry a film maker and activist, Mazen who was amongst the men arrested in the infamous Queen Boat Case in Egypt in 2001,
and Scott Long, Director of the LGBT rights program of HRW.

During the talk there was discussion of the recent cases of arrests of HIV-positive men in Egypt, but more so on the Queen Boat case. Not only was Mazen one of the men arrested in the Queen Boat case, but Maher was the first to break the news internationally by contacting Scott Long. Recently Maher has just finished his film “All My Life,” a narrative based on the Queen Boat case (which is going to be played at the Frameline Film Festival in San Francisco). Mazen is in the soon to be released documentary “A Jihad for Love”, which is also playing at Frameline.

The night that the men were arrested for being at the Queen Boat, a gay disco in Cairo, Maher began emailing Human Rights organizations around the world. His only response was by Scott Long, who then persuaded the local Human Rights organizations in Cairo to assist Maher in helping the men arrested. Mazen was arrested outside of the Queen Boat, he was brought to the local police station and asked to sign a paper that stated that he was Gay and a bottom (receptive partner in male-male anal sex), when he declined to sign the paper he was beaten. He and the other arrested men were sent to three locations, including the much dreaded State facility, before their trial. At the third facility they were beaten every day and were never referred to by their name but as “Faggot #1,” “Faggot #2,” and so on. Although Mazen was sentenced to 2 years in prison, he was able to flee to Paris before serving time. You can hear more about his story by seeing the documentary “A Jihad for Love.”

It was a pleasure to hear from these men, but I wish that their voices didn’t need to be heard because of the atrocities they faced. What Mazen and Maher are doing shows what is most certainly needed today, a breaking of the silence of what occurs. Not just in countries in the Middle East and not just towards LGBT individuals.

Side note: I spoke with Scott Long of the HRW and he informed me that a full report will be released on Iranian LGBT issues within the coming weeks.

I’m back peoples, I’ve graduated with an MA in Sexuality Studies and now I have more time.

To start things off right I am posting a link to Porn for the Blind. A not-for-profit bare bones website that offers recorded descriptions of porn websites, even including gay male porn. Apparently they take suggestions so if you’re queer, blind or not, you should suggest some other websites.

Here are some examples:

Straight Boys Fucking. Link to Mp3

Eighth Street Latinas. Link to Mp3

With the way some of these are described I’d rather just listen to the audio.

By far my favorite is one for Bang Bros, I believe the actor who played the priest in Princess Bride (inconceivable!) has recorded this. Link to Mp3

I’m also uncertain whether or not this is a joke, and if it being a joke is a good or bad thing.