Archive for August, 2008

(c) abc.com.au

This survey is for all the penis loving readers.

(1) What is your favorite nickname for the penis?

(2) Does size actually matter? If so, how?

(3) What do you think is the average penis size?

(4) Do you have favorite positions that you use depending on penis size?

(5) Have you ever seen a penis that made you smack your face and say “oh my diiiiiiiick!”?

I thank you in advance for your answers.

Image from boingboing.net

Except this is not obligatory. I was most certainly moved by Obama’s speech tonight. The way he spoke about how “this election is not about me, it’s about you.” How he said that while we may disagree on gay marriage, we should let our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters be able to visit those they love in the hospital, having it make sense to those who may be on the fence about this issue. And most importantly about how it’s not just about having the government make the right decisions, but having each person make the right decisions. “Individual responsibility, mutual responsibility.”

Make no mistake, I have no ill-conceived notions that this man is going to come in and totally save the day, creating a 180 degree change. But Obama has my idea of the right moves, the right ideas. And lets face it, he has style and he has class. He bestows a demeanor of power, of leadership, and yes, a demeanor of hope. And for a nation who is obviously feeling that the rug has been pulled from under them, feeling apathetic, we need a person who treats us right. Who will not only say “I’m going to take care of you,” but also encourage everyone to take care of themselves.

And now folks…I watch the New Gong Show with Dave Attell.

Generally one thinks of the stereotypical cocky man who makes fun of others and brags about himself as the Don Juan. But what if Don Juan joked about his small penis and his lack of achievements? This month a research study aptly titled “Dissing Oneself: The Sexual Attractiveness of Self-Deprecating Humor” will be published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology. By having women listen to recordings of men talking about themselves, the men who made fun of themselves the most were rated as more attractive than other men.

Speaking of which, have I mentioned how bad I am at the sex? (everybody: how bad are you?) I’m so bad at the sex that even *I* fall asleep. That’s how…bad I am…at sex.

My favorite part about this study is all the possible screwups that can occur when someone takes this information and goes a tad bit too far with it. Like a guy who is openly self-deprecating about missing child support payments or beating his exes.

While it was Henry Kissinger who said that power was the ultimate aphrodisiac it was Woody Allen who said “my one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

For more information: LINK