Archive for September, 2008

Earlier this week PETA released an announcement that they would be encouraging Ben & Jerry’s to use HUMAN breast milk instead of cow milk for the production of their ice cream. This idea was motivated by a Swiss restaurateur who decided to use at least 75% human breast milk in his dishes. PETA argues that cow milk is meant for baby cows, and human breast milk is for human babies. Furthermore, they cite research that states that human consumption of cow milk can lead to adverse health effects.

While I do have my reservations about pushing milk consumption on humans after they’re all grown up, I have my extreme doubts about serving human breast milk. Will it be pasteurized? How will they ensure it’s safety? I imagine some sort of stockyard full of lactating women, that’s not very ethical, is it? I’m pretty certain that this is just an absurd publicity stunt. If so, ya got me PETA. I don’t disagree with everything they tout, I think they do a lot of great work. But surely there’s some fur they can go hunt down or they can spend time combating actual animal torture, like how race horses are made to piss so damn much.

For more information: LINK

In a moment of “are you fucking kidding me?” The mayor of a small southern Texas town was charged with felony offenses of indecency with a child by contact and aggravated assault. However, this mayor, who already has had to register himself as a sex offender is STILL in charge of this town. DESPITE the fact that he has to stay away from city hall since it is within 1,000 feet of a youth center. This man is charged with sexual offenses towards two girls and he is still the mayor. How else can I say this? He’s in JAIL, and he’s still the mayor. He inappropriately touched two girls in a sexual manner…and he’s still the mayor. He’s a SEX OFFENDER…and he’s still the mayor. Don’t get me started on the fucked-up-titude of the broad definition of “sex offender,” but still. And we’re placating over controlling banks who fucked themselves over? Ok, ok, they’re not related. I’m just…he’s STILL the mayor?! The town is the same size of Wasilla…just saying. Not saying that Palin is a sex offender, but just saying.

Would you like more info on how he’s still the MAYOR? LINK

By now you may have heard of the new internet claim to sexual “ew” fame, Cake Fart (NSFW: LINK). Many times I have been asked where a certain sexual act comes from, cake farting is no exception. Thanks to my amazing researchical (yes, thats a word) ways, I have been able to uncover the true history behind Cake Farting.

Cake Farting started in Germany during the late 1800′s with apfelstrudel (apple struddel). This was mostly done by peasants who wanted to escape their health and financial concerns by partaking in gastro-erotic acts. By 1910 the German upper class adopted the practice of Cake Farting. However, instead of apfelstrudel they used the famed sacher torte from Austria as it was more refined. These debutantes of Germany would never let a common dessert as apfelstrudel touch the royal and refined skin on their behind. By 1925 the practice went largely underground due to a daunting analysis by Freud. This caused Franz Joseph von Mushiepantsen to become an overnight millionaire with his speakeasy style bakeries with cake farting parties in the back room. Freud posited that cake farting manifested from childhood trauma during the anal phase. Usually this occured by the mother putting a cake on the seat of a child right before they were about to sit down. This was largely done to girls as they were thought to be easily scared. This is why more women are practitioners of cake farting than men. Making this fetish the 2nd highest sexual deviation followed by women next to kleptomania.

And now you know.

For some, the sleek and discreet vibrators are king — or queen. Next to the famed “Rabbit,” the discreet vibes are top sellers at any sex shop. Lelo has always been known as the sexy, well-designed vibrators that are body friendly, silent, powerful and most impressively, rechargeable. However, the slick, sultry and top of the line vibrator creators from Lelo have out done and out-geeked themselves. Lelo’s MIA makes you cry for mamma (sorry). The slender design matches the size of a lipstick container, making it perfect to keep in your purse. Since it is made of hard plastic you can rest assured that it is easy to clean and non-porous, ensuring body friendly quality with it’s gorgeous design. Do you like your vibes to vary in speed and intensity? Of course you do. Mia is equipped with varying speeds from the tickly to the rock your world and call out to the lord. But what makes this geeky, you ask? Wow, great question. Not only is it rechargeable like the other Lelo toys BUT there’s more. Ladies and gentlemen, this is rechargeable via USB. That’s right, you can chuck out your WalMart branded batteries and plug this delightful vibe into your computer or laptop. Unfortunately this vibe is not also a memory stick.

On a scale of 0 to 10 on sound, Mia is a 1. It’s not completely silent, but do know that your roommate, significant other, or child will not hear the motor whirring. On a scale of 0 to 10, the intensity can get to a 7. For most people, this will more than powerful.

While I may not recommend this as your constant use vibrator, this is most certainly a great stand by vibe for long trips or to get the job done. It all depends on what you want in your vibrator, peoples.

For more information: MIA link

The time is now people. We need REAL change, we need a president who REALLY puts America first. We need a president who’s by the phone at 3am to call the Soviet Premier Dmitri to let him know that we accidentally sent missiles to the Soviet Union. The time is now.

Above: Picture of Tina Fey…I mean Gov. Sarah Palin.

Oh dear me, looks like another scandal has broken out about McCain’s running mate Gov. Sarah Palin. We all know of Palin’s new born, Trig, however as some bloggers are claiming that Trig is NOT her child but her grandchild. Link below for the full explanation accompanied by pictures and videos:

Daily Kos Article LINK

Summary of above link:
- Palin announced her pregnancy when she was supposed to be seven months prego.
- Palin showed NO signs of pregnancy, was always trim and wore slim fitting clothes.
- Palin supposedly broke her water before a keynote speech in Dallas, but continued to give the speech.
- Instead of giving birth while in Dallas, Palin flew eight hours to Alaska to give birth.
- Palin’s 16-year-old daughter, Bristol, reportedly was absent from school between five to eight months.
- Her excuse for missing school that long? Mono, an infection that usually lasts two weeks to three months.

Now I’m not saying anything, but I’m just saying.

Today Palin publicly announced that the very same daughter, Bristol, is pregnant (AGAIN?). Apparently Bristol got it on with a boy/man (we don’t know his age) by the name of Levi. I swear, these names alone are glorious. Palin followed this news stating that her daughter intends on marrying this man. How quaint.

New York Times Article LINK

Granted, I generally have nothing against the pregnants in our life, even if they are young and especially if they are equipped and have enough social support to rear their child. However, coming from such a conservative person as Palin, of course this is scandalous.

When asked for a comment, Obama stated that it was a family matter and that his mother had him when she was eighteen and she did just fine. Well put.

I still think Gov. Palin and Britney Spears’ mom should co-write a Christian Guide to Parenting.