Archive for May, 2009

For many people the mere sight of a flogger can be quite intimidating. Even those who consider themselves experienced in kink may look at the flogger as an incredibly painful device that they’d prefer to steer clear from. The sheer size, about 2 feet long, seems a bit cumbersome. Then there are the twenty-four ~1.5-foot long suede lashes with a triangular tip. I admit, even my own description makes this flogger seem overwhelmingly painful. However, here is the important distinction between a flogger with thick lashes and devices like whips or crops, the flogger is an “impact toy.” An impact toy gives more of a “thud” sensation than a sharp piercing and stinging sensation. Keep in mind that there are floggers with braided leather lashes or thin strips of leather that will give the stinging and piercing sensation, however this review is for the suede flogger with thicker lashes. While this flogger can give a very intense sensation, it can feel more like someone is pushing you slightly. If used in a brisk swinging motion hitting your partner with only the tips, then you will administer more of a stinging impression.

What’s nice about this particular flogger is that because it is made of soft suede you can lightly caress your partners’ ass or back before, in between or after floggings. I highly recommend doing this because bringing about such varying sensations such as a soft caress to an intense thud can keep your partner excited and make them delightfully anticipate more.

What didn’t work for me so much with this product was the lack of a weighted handle. Preferably the handle of the flogger would be heavier right at the end. Why is this important? By having a weighted handle you are given proper leverage to increase the intensity of your hits without having to exert too much force. Another advantage to a weighted handle is when you are swinging the flogger, the weighted handle ensures a balanced swing. That is, the impact of the flogger will hit exactly where you have aimed. Without a weighted handle, the handle may move around too much as you are swinging the flogger. However, as far as complaints go, the lack of weight in the handle is a pretty minute disadvantage.

Just as I had suggested alternating between swinging the flogger hard against your partner and slowly caressing them with the soft suede, it is also a good idea to touch and/or caress your partner while you are hitting them with the flogger. This will reassure them that they are in a safe and trusted space. And of course, make sure to agree upon a “safeword” before you start so that your partner has a word they can say that requires you to stop whatever you are doing for any reason.

I highly recommend the Black Suede Flogger from JT’s Stockroom for anyone interested in impact toys. This toy is great for beginners who want a flogger that is a little less expensive in order to discover if this sort of play is right for them.

Material: The tails are made of black suede, which offers a nice soft sensation when lightly caressed across the body, but can also give off a powerful thud sensation when hit hard with all the tails. The handle is made with quality black leather with a wrist loop. There is a chance of blood coming in contact with the suede tails, this is why it is not suggested to use such a flogger with multiple partners. The use of leather cleaner is highly debated as a proper way of cleaning blood off of suede. You can avoid the blood conundrum all together by keeping yourself in check during the flogging scene and not hitting your partner too hard or rapidly, (but that’s not as fun for some people). For more information on proper care, please check with Stockroom for their guidance.

Safety: A flogger can be a delicious but dangerous toy if used improperly. If used too hard, you can cause internal bruising (not the fun kind of black & blue surface bruises that you show off to friends). If used without caution, one can injure the face of the partner or oneself. Please seek guidance from an expert or safely practice on paper products.

To learn more about this product and/or purchase it, you can visit Stockroom’s listing for the product: HERE

Image from: www.flickr.com/photos/tehbaxter

On Tuesday the 26th of May the California Supreme Court ruled to uphold Proposition 8, which stated that the institution of marriage is only between a man and a woman. At 10am, as numerous people waited by the TV, refreshed their news page, or stood outside City Hall, the decision was announced. I was at City Hall right after their announcement was made (oddly enough not to the public who waited outside) and I was not surprised by the somber, defeated and quiet tone set amongst the faces of the anti-prop 8 people. But as time went on more and more became angry. As I understand, those who were vocal about their anger and outrage were shooed away from the protest as to not make the gays “look bad” in front of the media.

Apparently you’re supposed to remain silent and obedient when you continue to be oppressed.

Outside SF City Hall.

Am I surprised by this decision? No. Am I upset? Yes. Is all hope lost? Not at all. Am I going to continue writing this post in a series of questions that I answer myself? Maybe.

Now keep in mind, the CA Supreme Court was only deciding on whether or not prop 8 was an amendment. Thankfully, none of the rights that were ruled upon in 2008 to same-sex couples were taken away. However, and this is a big however, let us not forget that the word “marriage” is incredibly powerful, meaningful and emotional to many. It is not just a word. By refusing same-sex couples the ability to use the word “marriage” for their– well, marriage is a discriminating, “neener neener,” cruel monkey-in-the-middle game that the pro-prop 8 camp is over joyously playing. “You can have what we have… but not that…that’s ours.” This “that” which is kept to themselves is what many argue to be the emotion, the heart, the je ne sais quoi of marriage. So now, those who have been arguing for their rights are left without the heart.

Currently there is a movement to remove the term “marriage” from the laws in order to allow equal rights to all in the US. I urge you to consider this aspect of this debate. However, equal marriage does not result in full equality. Marriage equality is not the Valhalla of gay rights. In the meantime, also consider other LGBTQ issues such as employment discrimination, Trans rights (fuck you HRC), dismantling oppressive institutions, and ensuring proper health care (including STI education and prevention) to all.

My question for my readers (all two of you) is what does marriage mean to you? Is it just a word? Is it something more powerful? Will it always be an oppressive institution no matter how nicely it is packaged?

To read the court decision for yourself, which I strongly urge you to do, click HERE