Archive for November, 2009

In a disgusting effort to perpetuate the long-standing insecurities some women have towards the beauty of their genitalia, many plastic surgeons are offering reconstructive surgery to make ones vulva more “aesthetically pleasing.” Eve Ensler, creator of “The Vagina Monologues,” would be spinning in her grave right now if she was dead, but she’s not. Perhaps this is why she’s been tossing and turning so much at night. To be honest, I’m getting tired of yelling “Eve, for the love of god just take an Ambien!”

In an article by the BBC, it is reported that labioplasty procedures performed under UK’s NHS increased by 70% from last year. Keep in mind that this does not include procedures carried out by private practitioners. Furthermore, there has been very little research done to find out the long-term side effects, along with the possibility (rather, likelihood) of nerve damage and lose of sexual sensation. While I often try to follow Ricardo Montalban’s edict “I’d rather look good than feel good,” you have to draw the line somewhere, people.

What’s obviously bothersome about all of this is the amount of time, energy and money spent towards “beautifying” the vulva, read: homogenizing vulvas. Rather, these resources would be better put towards understanding the sources of this insecurity, and advocacy towards acceptance of the natural
beauty of the vuvla. Man, I’ve been spending too much time with Miss Eve, but this is true regardless.

They’re like snowflakes, people. Beautiful snowflakes. You’re fucking snowflakes. Or keys, since now you can make a silicone clone of your vulva. Ok, it really doesn’t matter if your sexing snowflakes or keys, either way there needs to be more work done towards the acceptance of vulvas rather than making them seem like some big ol mess that can only be attractive through the scalpel of a doctor.