Archive for April, 2010

To learn more about the G Spot, enjoy this video produced and directed by Good Vibrations!

(C) BBC America

This weeks’ Fetish Friday is geared (har har) towards those who have sex with their cars. So far I’ve only come across instances of men who are sexually interested in their cars. The instances of women sexualizing their cars are only in terms of women being sexualized by not knowing how to control their cars, car stuck fetish and pedal pumping, as an example. I must admit, when I first heard about this I immediately thought of the scene in Beverly Hills Cop where Eddie Murphy put a banana in the cops tail pipe…except the banana is a penis…get it? Unfortunately it’s not that comical or at the very least that painful. Hot metal and sharp edges, oh baby I like it raw.

In most of the cases I’ve seen the men caress the cars, rub themselves up against the body, and mostly masturbate near or on the car area. Sometimes the cars are their own, i.e. their partner, and other times they do a little sneaky jerk on someone elses automobile. In this case, a man was arrested on three separate occasions for masturbating on the hoods of other peoples cars. In an interview with a mechanic from the UK, he admits/brags about having an exhaust pipe widened in order to fit his presumably ginormous penis. That car is such a size queen.

Perhaps my favorite account of this fetish is depicted in the made for TV documentary by BBC America “My Car is My Lover.” BBC America, never one to give up on documenting the bizarre, arranged for two car fetishists to take a road trip (brilliant idea) to meet each other at a car convention. I imagine BBC America supplied the extra pants, because the men are ejaculating in their own…their own pants…because of all the cars. What I truly enjoyed about this documentary is that they explored the relationships these men carry with their own cars and how they view cars around them. I’ve embedded the first part of the series on YouTube below. Beneath the video are the links to the rest of the show if you want to watch the rest, and I think you do. Thank you to my friends Seth & Amy who introduced me to the documentary!

Enjoy!

Part 1:

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Example of a Full Body Image

Last year the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) began discussing the use of full body scanners as a form of heightened security. With this scanner, agents can see everything, and I do mean everything. Just look at this picture! It seems as though this man on the right has a catheter connecting his junk to his gun so that he shoots his leg every time he urinates, damn terrorist. Now due to recent terror alerts, the TSA has begun implementing full body scanners at every major airport. While there has been a somewhat underwhelming cry for privacy rights, most people are simply falling in line and doing “whatever is necessary to protect us against terrorists.”

What is of concern to me is what will happen to a trans person when they step into the body scanner. What will the TSA see? How will they react? With the recent attempted underwear bombing on Christmas, the TSA will most likely be focusing their attention on the peoples junk. With these new scanners, TSA agents will be able to see binding material and genitals, causing concern that the TSA agents may pull the trans person aside for further investigation/searching.

I met with Jackson Bowman, a researcher for UCSF, homeless youth advocate and tran about town, to discuss issues regarding full body scanners, trans rights and privacy. After enjoying our libations at a dimly lit bar and catching up, Jackson said “so you want to know my thoughts on trannies and body scanners?” To begin with, Jackson said he doesn’t understand why cisgendered people aren’t completely upset by this invasion of privacy. Full body scanners are not just something that should concern trans folk, but these should concern all people.

When asked about his current experience going through airport security, Jackson noted that he already sweats bullets when he flies. He recently went to Europe, and due to the trip he got a new passport. Even though he went through the process of changing his birth certificate, ID and passport to match his gender he became worried every time he handed someone his passport. He would think they had a super scanner to find out that something was “off” about his passport, and even though he knew this wasn’t true, he would still get anxious. “It’s fine, everything has been changed,” he’d think, only to be followed with “what if they find out its been changed?!”

Jackson stated that he’s afraid that someone will accuse him of being “inauthentic,” or hiding “the truth,” something he finds himself coming across on occasion when meeting others. In this case his concern is that if the TSA accuses him of being inauthentic or hiding something, then they may search further.

Jackson is not only concerned for the confusion that TSA agents may have when they see genitals that they do not believe to match the person’s gender, but also for a trans man who is packing. Whether it’s a trans man who is wearing a softie or a trans woman who is wearing falsies, it may appear to the TSA agent as if this person is trying to smuggle something on the plane. This would also be an issue for a breast cancer survivor who had a mastectomy and is wearing falsies.

It’s been claimed many times that the images from the full body scanners are not connected to the persons identity, that they are viewed by agents in an office far away and are immediately deleted after first view. However, in early February the famous Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan quickly found out that the images from his full body scan were passed around by security agents in the very airport he was in. Two of the female agents even approached him right after the full body scan with the print outs of his naked body in hand, asking for his autograph. If this kind of behavior happens for celebrities, whats stopping the same thing happening to trans folk?

Will there be competency training for TSA agents? My pessimistic side says most likely not. But I would like to see more of a push for such training. Overall, I’d like to see this type of invasion of privacy to put away for good.

For more information:

Transgender Equality Whole Body Image FAQ

Wii has been associated with sex since it first came out

A young British woman has recently come forward stating that after falling off of her Nintendo Wii Fit board she has been diagnosed with Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (also known as Restless Genital Syndrome, no joke). After her slip up, Amanda Flowers of Manchester, explained that even the slightest vibrations, from cell phones to food processors turn her on and get her going, according to the Daily Star article. Easily being turned on resulted in Ms. Flowers requiring up at 10 sexing sessions a day.

The doctor that diagnosed her says that this syndrome is a result of nerve damage from the fall. It wasn’t explicitly stated, but I assume it’s pudental nerve entrapment (PNE). PNE involves the pudendal nerve in the pelvis becoming entrapped or compressed. This can lead to pain, incontinence, impotence or sexual dysfunction. Luckily for this woman her dysfunction is full of joy. However, the definition of dysfunction is something that impedes your normal functioning. Requiring up to 10 sexual sessions a day can definitely sound fun, but will surely interfere with daily functioning (and increase chafing).

I’m just looking forward to the disclaimer that will hopefully come with the Wii stating, “improper use of Wii may result in restless genitals.”

Because it’s Friday, I’ve got a glass of wine, a laptop and I just don’t wanna study for finals anymore!

Sue Johanson discusses how sex while pregnant doesn’t mean you’re knock, knock, knockin’ on a your babies head.

Followed by a great mix of Sue moments:

An anonymous e-card informing past partners of potential infection via http://inspot.org/

April is National STD Awareness Month recognized by the CDC. Have you had your STDs checked out? Let’s start with a little stats, shall we? In 2008, there was 1.2 million newly reported cases of chlamydia. For syphilis, California ranked “10 among 50 states” where the rate among males was 11.4 per 100,000 population versus the U.S. male rate of 7.6 per 100,000 (stats sheet). Let’s not forget that gonorrhea is at risk of becoming a superbug. It’s not that I’m trying to scare you into getting tested, it’s that I’m trying to make your sex that much hotter. Without being concerned if you are infected because you are using proper safer sex techniques and getting regularly tested, you can enjoy some of that dirty beast sexing. You can search for testing centers closet to you by using the CDC supported search page. And just to put it out there, after you get tested you can submit an anonymous review to me so I that can post the review on my blog for others to use in making an informed choice for getting tested.

One of the many great ways of protecting yourself is having an open and honest talk with your new/existing sexual partner. When was the last time they had sex? What does sex mean to them? Did they use protection during sex? When was the last time they were tested? This is not to be substituted with actual protection and testing, but it’s a great communication exercise with your partner, as well as building trust. Don’t think this kind of conversation can be sexy? Think again. Try not to think of this as giving your partner a checklist, but getting to know your partner better *insert happy Disney music here*. This kind of conversation, coupled with safer sex techniques and regular testing will keep you on the high road to a happy, healthy and delicious sex life, my friends.

While we’re discussing STD’s, lets delve into another aspect of sexuality I like to discuss — advertising.

First off, I’d like to present my favorite STD awareness ad FAIL entitled “homoboy,”  wherein the San Francisco Department of Public Health tried to reached out to men of color who have sex with men and used the tagline “Don’t Be a Bitch, Use a Condom.” Um, excuse me? Let’s take a look, shall we?

First off, by stating that the audience was “men of color who have sex with men” assumes that all men of color maintain a masculine, thuggish personality, and secondofly (yes, that’s a word), it’s obviously playing on the whole Down Low phenomena/scare by adding the woman at the bottom of the poster. The language and images the ad uses is insulting, in my not so humble opinion.

Some of my favorite advertisements are as follows:

In 2007 I posted two videos by a French AIDS awareness campaign that I found to be pretty damn adorable, check out the videos HERE.

Recently the Berkeley Free Clinic created an ad encouraging the local community to use their clinic, watch below:

Berkeley Free Clinic Ad:

And the great Buck Angel created a Public Cervix Announcement for Trans Men:

What are your favorite STD awareness advertisements?

Related Posts:

How Are Your STDs?
Condoms Prevent Genocide

The students to which I lectured about fetishes and kink

At nine in the morning with a fresh cup of coffee down my throat I walk on stage in front of approximately 400 students at San Francisco State University. The undergraduate Human Sexuality class is the largest attended class at San Francisco State University, with attendance ranging between 400 and 600 students depending on the semester.

The instructor, Ms Lisa Vallin the Great, was a classmate of mine in the Sexuality Studies Masters program at the same educational institution. For the past few semesters I was lucky enough to be invited to come to Lisa’s class to give a lecture on fetish and kink. My first few attempts at the lecture were a bit awkward, I would rush through my presentation while I mentioned foot fetish, pony play, safe words, sadism & masochism without explaining the nuances and benefits of “alternative” sexual acts. And of course at the end of my lecture the one question that was asked was “Is 2 girls 1 cup for real?”

This last lecture, however, went exceptionally well if I do say so myself. However, the point of this post is not to gloat about how well I thought I did, but to explain the main points of my lecture.

My goal for the lecture was to discuss fetishes and kink in a normalizing fashion to assist the students to look beyond so-called “normal” sex and step beyond a judgmental view towards other forms of sexual acts. For the first half of my lecture I discussed different forms of fetishes and paraphilias, ranging from balloons to exhibitionism to pony play to roman showers. I loved telling my stories of cuckoldry and pony play, adding real people to these acts to help the students realize this is real and done by “normal” people. A good amount of the time, however, the audience would belt out an “eeewww” in unison. Time and time again I would remind the class that the things that make them go “eeewww” are things that make others go “ooooohhhh.” Furthermore, I explained that the sexual acts that get them off may seem completely out of whack to others. At one point I showed the Balloon Bear video(one of my favorites, he’s a fantastic man), immediately when the class started laughing I began to explain that yes, sex and fetishes can seem amusing, but it’s not fair to laugh at others sexual desires.

Pony Girls

One great part of the lecture was due to the technological advances of the class, I could ask questions and have students anonymously answer yes or no using their remotes. Once they are done entering in their answers, the results are presented in percentages on the 40 foot screen behind me.  For one question I asked, “Have you ever been turned on by something you think others wouldn’t think to be normal?” and 70% of the class answered “yes.” To which I looked at all of them and judgmentally said “eeeeeewwwww.” Once again, I used this as an opportunity to show that simply because there are sexual practices that don’t get them off does not mean it’s any less of an acceptable act.

For the last half of my lecture I discussed kinky sex, not just in terms of “this is sadism and this is masochism,” but also going over the fact that kink is actually an umbrella term. Kink involves a tremendous amount sexual acts. Furthermore, I stressed consent and negotiating boundaries. When first involving kink with your partner(s), you want to go slow and you want to have an open and honest discussion about your boundaries. Sometimes these discussions alone can get your juices flowing and the anticipation heating up to the point where you simply can’t wait to have at each other.

Overall, I hope that I expressed my message to these students that their sex lives can include much more than it may already involve and to not judge others who include other forms of sex in their pleasures. Next semester, Ms Vallin will be giving me an entire class session for this lecture so I can go further in depth on fetish and kink. And let’s face it, I hope that at least one of the students went home that night and right before they spanked their partner they thought “well hell, that David guy said it was good fun.”

Resources:

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
San Francisco Sex Information
Guide to Choosing a Kink-Aware Therapist

Spanky! Spanky!

I’m going to try out including polls in my blog for a variety of reasons, mainly because I like to collect data on all things sexual. But I also hope that by when my readers see the results it will make them think about their own and others sexuality. Enjoy!

From http://www.carstuckgirls.com

Pedal pushing has become quite the popular media piece after it was released that Jesse James’ mistress partakes in a certain type of fetish video involving high-heeled pedicured women revving up engines of classic cars. Here’s a video for your viewing pleasure:

This is the perfect combination of the love of classic hot rods and those who have a foot fetish. Other aspects involve women in distress not only needing their cars to work but also being helpless in fixing it themselves. One turn on of the this is the climax of the engine revving up and getting oh so close to starting up. Is this a bit sexist? Well of course. But a bit entertaining, why most definitely.

For more information click here

Is this a harmless fetish? Does it perpetuate the image of the helpless woman? Is this fun and games? I’d say all of the above.