Posted by David Khalili
Fri, 07 Nov 2008 04:47:00 GMT
Image from: www.plateforme-elsa.org
In another addition to my (hopefully) ongoing series of
Clinic Reviews, we are graced
by a review by my senior Parisian Clinic Expert, "Frenchy McFrenchfry." Obviously her name has been changed to protect
her identity, but I am incredibly excited to post her review of what seems to be a fantastic and revolutionary, if
not at times unethical, sexual health clinic in Paris. Please to be enjoy.
I am a fairly straight female, and I went to a clinic in Paris, France. It's a clinic run by the Mouvement Français de Planning Familial
(French Movement for Family Planning), or MFPF. I waited maybe an hour to get in and see the doctor, but not because they were very busy.
A woman came into the waiting room where I was discussing politics with a new waiting-room buddy and welcomed us into a kind of conference
room next door. Once the room was sufficiently filled with nervous-looking French girls, two counselors came in and started asking us what
we knew about contraception, and then they corrected our misconceptions and answered our questions. To my utter astonishment, I learned stuff.
For instance, I had no idea that abortions, if correctly performed, are almost completely harmless to your body, even after your third or
fourth. This is a well-kept secret in the US, apparently. In fact, all the workers at the MFPF were fascinated to hear how all this stuff
works in the Barbarous States of America.
Then came something utterly shocking to me as an Amuhrikan: one of the counselors asked us to disclose private medical information! And many
of the girls complied! Totally illegal back home, if I'm not mistaken, but kind of cool nonetheless because it creates an open environment.
What was not as cool was the actual exam. The doctor was very nice, he would come into the conference every now and then to answer rather
private questions in front of everyone else and to call in the next girl (they weren't exactly strict about appointments, they were like
"who was here first?" and I was like "me," and other girls were like "I have class, can I go first?" and I was like "uh, sure..."). But
once I got in to see him, he seemed to be pretending not to understand my (practically fluent) French, which made giving him the necessary
information very difficult. He was just going to give me my birth control prescription (which I am admittedly dubious about because he
seemed unsure about which French brand to give me) but I had something I wanted him to check out, so he made me undress in a practically
open corner of the room, which I found awkward, and then proceeded to poke and prod without letting me know what he was doing or why.
Then he handed me my pap smear in an envelope and told me to go mail it with a check for 17 euro.
The whole business cost me 22 euro, plus the 17 euro check for the lab, plus the 88 centimes to mail my own pap smear, plus 22.40 for
three months' worth of birth control pills. Hopefully my school insurance will reimburse me. But not shabby, really, even if the experience
was a bit of a culture shock. But here I have to say that the MFPF is pretty amazing, very feminist, very pro contraception, pro giving out
correct information instead of scaring girls into being careful, and anti forced marriage (which is actually a huge problem here). Actually,
a few weeks ago I unwittingly met one of MFPF's founders, and he was very nice.
I'd give this experience a 7 out of 10 for sheer novelty. MFPF is fantastic about contraception, but you should really go to a private practice
if you want anything else done (or are American).
REMINDER: If you would like to write a review of your local sexual health clinic from your perspective, please email me for more information.
Posted in Info, Sexual Health, Pharmo, Doing It, HPV, Desire, Pleasure, HIV, Safe Sex, STD, STI, AIDS, Clinic Review | 1 comment
Posted by David Khalili
Fri, 31 Oct 2008 06:47:00 GMT
As you may have read, two weeks ago I visited the fine San Francisco City Clinic and chronicled my experience
(
read here). My main
point with that post was to work against the stigma of going and getting tested. Also to point out that
you shouldn't wait until you see that bump or that goo coming out of your junk to get tested, but to
do your best at going for regular testing. Particularly if you are not in a monogamous relationship but that is
another post all together.
I might as well post my results in interest of self disclosure...I'm clean bitches! I had no worry, but just
like for many other people, getting tested can cause you to have moments of self-doubt.
However, if you find yourself with not so happy results from your recent STD testing and are concerned
about openly telling your past partners, you may consider using an e-card service like
inSPOT. inSPOT is a website that allows you to send anonymous
e-cards to your past sexual partners to let them know that you have an STD and that they might
want to get tested as well. While I prefer honesty, this is better than nothing. Thankfully this site
also offers a list of places that you can get tested based on where you live.
The image above is my favorite, if not only due to its absurd abrasiveness.
Note: I've decided to visit other clinics in San Francisco to review the experience and will post them at a later date. If you are female, FTM,
MTF and/or live outside of San Francisco and would like to write a review of your experience at your local
clinic please contact me, I'd like to post your experience for others to read. You can contact me at
david@omniphilia.com with "Clinic Review" in the subject line.
Posted in Info, Sexual Health, Doing It, Sex, HPV, Desire, HIV, Safe Sex, STD, STI, AIDS | no comments
Posted by David Khalili
Sat, 18 Oct 2008 04:25:29 GMT
On October 30th and 31st, the
National Sexuality Resource Center, in San Francisco,
will be hosting an amazing regional training entitled
"Sexual Literacy and Social Chance: Making Your Research Matter." During this two day training you will be able to
hear about the work of sexuality researchers, students, academics and community organizations. Day one is focused on
panels and workshops, while day two will feature research presentations by sexuality researchers across
the United States.
During day one you will hear from those who work community-based research on sexuality,
important notes on conducting sexuality research and hear from a panel on communicating about sexuality. Oh right,
I'm on that last panel with
Dr. Carol Queen and
Regina Lynn from Wired.Com. Day two will open with a plenary by Dr.
Hector Carrillo, author of
The Night is Young: Sexuality in Mexico in the time of AIDS, who will
discuss how his research greatly influenced the 2008 International AIDS conference in Mexico City.
For more information, and most importantly to register click
HERE
Posted in Education, Desire, Policy | no comments
Posted by David Khalili
Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:43:00 GMT
(c) Corbis
A new study recently reports that almost a fifth of women in the UK (17% of the 1600 questioned) rush through sex, or push off sex altogether
in order to watch their favorite television shows. This is why doggy style was invented peoples.
On April 14th, 1963, the lovely Wilson
couple from Grand Rapids, MI were getting hot and heavy between the sheets. All was going splendidly well until Mary realized that Ed Sullivan
would be debuting the Italian Mouse "Topo Gigio"
on his show in just a few minutes. Being a resourceful one, she pushed John off of her, got up on all
fours to turn the television on and without looking at him said, "Hey chief, I didn't tells you to stop, see? Just keep going, why don't ya?"
Obviously those 17% of women in the study don't know a little something called
history.
More info on the study:
LINK
Lovely readers, would you or have you rushed through sex or put sex off in order to watch your favorite television show? I need to know this.
Posted in Doing It, Sex, Desire, Pleasure, romance and relationships | 7 comments
Posted by David Khalili
Thu, 19 Jun 2008 05:15:04 GMT
(c) Metro.co.uk
Let us say that you are watching porn and decide to have a go at it solo-style. How long is normal for the masturbatory experience?
Should you just go at it? Or are you supposed to like try to time yourself so you end with the scene? End of the movie? Personally,
I get bored waiting and tend to cue up to parts that I like, but I was once told that was odd so I thought I would ask.
Thanks,
X
Yet another variation of the tried and true question "what's normal?" Well, the average time it takes for a male to ejaculate is about 3-5 minutes,
as Kinsey put it under 2 minutes over 50% of the time is considered "premature." Personally, I prefer
"retarded" ejaculation to premature since it
adds for laughs and longer sexing. Anyhow, I digress. I guess my question is who effing cares? You shouldn't, thats for sure. But you do, and that's
okay. Unless you're jerking your meat chain 25 times a day, with or without porn, then I wouldn't worry about what is normal. Seriously, diddling
yourself through the entirety of a porn flick sounds painful and boring. Timing yourself can be a fun little exercise and also aide you in
prolonging your stamina. You can masturbate up until a few moments before you feel like you're going to cum, then hold off and wait, and then
have at it again. Make sure not to pinch at the tip of your cockula right before ejaculating thinking it'll increase your time before ejaculating.
If you feel the ejaculate coming up your penis and you pinch the top of your cock all you're doing is voluntarily engaging in
retrograde ejaculation,
making the semen go in to your bladder. Yes, ouch.
In the end, do what feels right, time yourself to your favorite part of the erotic flick and have fun. I'd say thats pretty damn normal to me.
Posted in Doing It, Sex, Questions Answered, Desire, Pleasure | 3 comments
Posted by David Khalili
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:10:52 GMT
(c) istockphoto.com
This is part one in a two part question. First part: Condoms.
Dear Omniphiliac, I was just wondering if you had any pointers for first-time off-the-bat condom usage. To help combat,
or deal with, what a colleague of mine has called "total wiggle bullshit," or TWB. To help the man please the lady (or man) when he's got a big ol'
slab of desensitizing latex on his schlong and increase, for that matter, the chances of orgasm for the man himself.
Ah yes, the horrible effects of TWB can be incredibly troublesome for both partners. You two are riled up, raring to go,
and you're harder than Chinese algebra, but the moment your cockula sees that dooming latex shield it goes limp. Leaving both of you to look at each other,
then look at your dick and say "WTF mate?"
There's at least two main factors that cause TWB; physical and psychological.
Physical being you ain't got no sensation, sucker. Or at least the sensation
that you do have is nothing like the sensation of flesh on flesh (or should I say, mucous membrane on mucous membrane) loving. One way to combat this is
by applying a few drops of your favorite lube inside the condom (penis side) before you put it on. This will allow for additional friction and giving
you a little more sensation. However, stay the fuck away from using oil-based lubes (including olive oil you Italian stallion, you), as oil breaks down latex
and that is no bueno for both parties, my friend. You can also have your partner give you a good fluffing before and during condom application. Have him or
her put it on for you whilst jacking you off, or put it on with their mouth if they're so inclined. There's also no shame in using a cock ring. Just because
you're young and virile doesn't mean you can't be just a little bit harder. If your partner gives you a dirty look and asks you what you're doing with
that circular contraption, tell her or him that it ensures that the condom stays on (wink wink). Hell, get a vibrating cock ring or one with little nubbies on top
to produce a greater chance of turning on your partner as well.
If you're able to stay hard right after putting on the condom but your dick shrivels up half way through sex, try some different positions that may
increase good ol' friction. A little oral also helps, or just take a break and use another condom a few minutes later if you have to.
Psychological means your thoughtsicles are getting in the way of proper sexing. You may be one hard motherfucker but the moment you pull
out that condom you think to yourself "oh jumping jehosaphat, this condom is going to suck, I'm not going to feel a damn thing." Saying this to yourself
--hopefully you're not saying this out loud as this may scare off your sex partner--will most likely increase the chances that this will be a
shitty experience. As I said, having your partner assist in putting on the condom might make this a sexy part of foreplay and you'll be too busy thinking
how hot your partner is to concern yourself with worries of latex-caused doom. This also may be anxiety-related if this was your first time with the partner.
Being that you wanted to show off your sexual prowess but might have begun to feel anxious thinking that you won't impress or please your partner.
You're not going to please everyone all the time, but you sure can try. Try not to work up this image of hot hot sex and just take it all step by step.
Over thinking the matter will just bring you doom and gloom. Although this is faulty logic think of it this way, your cock needs all the blood it can take
to stay hard, right? So don't waste that blood in your brain by over thinking the minute details of your loving.
As far as your last question goes regarding increasing chances of you coming to fruition, who says that you have to cum while thrusting away inside
your partner? While there is of course the appeal, and sometimes pressure to just finish off while fucking, it can also be sexy to orgasm outside
of intercourse. However, your partner should get to choose where you finish off, whether it be on their body, on your hairy hairy stomach or
on that tea towel your 2nd cousin gave you for Christmas a few years ago.
Posted in Doing It, Sex, Questions Answered, Desire, Pleasure, romance and relationships | no comments
Posted by David Khalili
Sun, 08 Jun 2008 21:44:00 GMT
Image Credit:
Duncan's TV AD Land
Looks like abstinence-only education advocates are taking another hit after the findings of a large-scale survey on teen sexual activity
were recently released. This large government study stated that there is no longer a decline in teenage sexual activity since 2007 and that
condom use has leveled out since 2003. This comes after a report that 1 in 4 teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease and that
teen birthrate has increased for the first time in 15 years.
While there are many reasons behind the lack of decline in sexual activity amongst teenagers, such as supposed apathy towards sexually transmitted diseases and changing
attitudes towards sex, there is a definite blame finger pointed at the good folks of abstinence-only education. "We may be witnessing the beginning of
a trend where we're reaping the harvest of medically inaccurate and ineffective sex education, which is abstinence-until-marriage sex education,"
said Michael Resnick, who studies teen sexual behavior at the University of Minnesota. Due to the combination of minimizing the effectiveness
of condoms, coupled with the lack of education on how to use a condom, many students will simply opt out of using the contraceptive. If
they don't like the way the latex barrier feels, and they believe it is highly ineffective then why bother using it? However, with comprehensive
sex education, there is discussion on how effective condoms are, as well as how to incorporate them into your sex life without it becoming too
much of a mood killer.
For more information on the recent study,
LINK.
Posted in Yay Amerrrrca, Education, Abstinence, Sexual Health, Doing It, Sex, Politics, Desire, Pleasure, Safe Sex, STD, STI | 4 comments
Posted by David Khalili
Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:25:13 GMT
(C) Associated Press
Earlier this month in New York, a 35-year-old man ingested "The Black Stone," an apparent aphrodisiac that was banned by the FDA.
Why would the FDA ban an aphrodisiac? They're such buzz kills, eh? They're prudish, sex-negative ne'er do wells. Well that
might be the case, however "Black Stone" is made from toad venom which contains chemicals that may disrupt heart rhythms. It's
like the Botox (which contains botulism) for the sexed. The product is also known as Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone and Chinese Rock.
At least six men have died from ingesting this substance since the early 1990's. For more information,
click here.
While this is not an epidemic, this is another "aphrodisiac" thats marketed and sold in sex shops and head shops that not only
does nothing to raise the sexual spirits for the night, but could be harmful. For example Spanish Fly does nothing for your sexy mood,
but has been known to burn the mouth and throat, cause scarring of the urethra and even death (
FDA).
Be very cautious about which aphrodisiacs you purchase, other than chocolate and oysters (unless you're allergic, of course). I'd
recommend avoiding purchasing aphrodisiacs from shady sex shops, head shops and vending machines in bathrooms of truck stops.
Try some foreplay.
Posted in Sexual Health, FDA, Doing It, Sex, Desire, Pleasure, Safe Sex, current events, romance and relationships, current affairs | no comments
Posted by David Khalili
Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:07:51 GMT
(Via advocate.com)
Thomas Beatie, a loving husband in a quiet town in Oregon wrote his first person account of deciding to carry him and his wifes first child. Thomas is a transgender male who had gone through a mastectomy and began taking hormones years ago. Legally he is a male, therefore he is legally married to his wife Nancy. He and his wife decided to have a child, however Nancy was unable to carry a child to term. With great consideration, Thomas decided to cease his testosterone treatment and carry their child.
In this first-person account Thomas explain the process he went through, including being faced with discrimination from doctors, health care professionals, and receptionists.
What I thoroughly enjoy about this first-person account is how Thomas explains that his male gender identity has not been compromised by his pregnancy.
To read the account click
HERE.
Does the discrimination Thomas and his wife faced surprise you? What about Thomas explaining that his male identity has not been compromised? Your identity is who you are, your identity is something you do. It is constantly moving and shifting, at any given time you are negotiating with it.
This is not just a story about a trans-man who is pregnant, it's a story about reproductive rights, about identity, about family, about societal norms and values.
I wish Thomas and his wife, Nancy, the best, I truly hope that they do not face any more discrimination, but are left to be in a healthy family that they have worked so hard to be in.
Posted in Sexual Health, Doing It, Desire, Human Rights, Current-Events, current events, romance and relationships, current affairs, Trans, Parenting | no comments | 13 trackbacks
Posted by David Khalili
Tue, 29 Jan 2008 09:45:00 GMT
(c) Bisexuality Resource Center
Recently
Lisa Diamond, a renowned sexuality researcher, published a study through the American Psychological Association dispelling
the myth of bisexuality being a transitional phase for women. Her 10 year study found that bisexual women held a steady attraction
towards both genders, as well as remained longer in committed relationships. Furthermore, these wonderful fence sitters appeared
to interpret lesbianism as being more flexible in behavior than they did with heterosexuality. While some women in the study
changed their sexual identity at times, they generally went back to identifying as bisexual or "unlabeled."
This is a really exciting study that shows how flexible sexuality and identity is. How it is dynamic and always-evolving, rather
than a stagnant label that we apply to our forehead in adolescence with super duper crazy glue for the rest of our lives. While some
would have an argument against touting monogamous relationships as something to excel towards, I still like the finding that
bisexually identified women are more likely to be in a monogamous relationship for the mere fact that it disproves the myth
that bisexual women are unstable, greedy, or just unable to maintain a committed relationship. It would definitely be interesting
to see a similar study but regarding polyamorous relationships. My classmate Sunny is currently doing his thesis on poly triads,
when he is finished I will surely bug him to let me publish a summary of the results on this here blog.
For all you sex geeks, here's a link to the pdf of this article:
link.
Posted in Info, Interesting Articles Elsewhere, Doing It, Sex, Desire, Pleasure, Current-Events, current events, romance and relationships, current affairs, Bisexual | no comments | no trackbacks