David Khalili: Sexing Education

Important Sexual Literacy Conference

Posted by David Khalili Sat, 18 Oct 2008 04:25:29 GMT

On October 30th and 31st, the National Sexuality Resource Center, in San Francisco, will be hosting an amazing regional training entitled "Sexual Literacy and Social Chance: Making Your Research Matter." During this two day training you will be able to hear about the work of sexuality researchers, students, academics and community organizations. Day one is focused on panels and workshops, while day two will feature research presentations by sexuality researchers across the United States.

During day one you will hear from those who work community-based research on sexuality, important notes on conducting sexuality research and hear from a panel on communicating about sexuality. Oh right, I'm on that last panel with Dr. Carol Queen and Regina Lynn from Wired.Com. Day two will open with a plenary by Dr. Hector Carrillo, author of The Night is Young: Sexuality in Mexico in the time of AIDS, who will discuss how his research greatly influenced the 2008 International AIDS conference in Mexico City.

For more information, and most importantly to register click HERE

Posted in Education, Desire, Policy | no comments

Teen Sex Rates Plateau

Posted by David Khalili Sun, 08 Jun 2008 21:44:00 GMT

Image Credit: Duncan's TV AD Land

Looks like abstinence-only education advocates are taking another hit after the findings of a large-scale survey on teen sexual activity were recently released. This large government study stated that there is no longer a decline in teenage sexual activity since 2007 and that condom use has leveled out since 2003. This comes after a report that 1 in 4 teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease and that teen birthrate has increased for the first time in 15 years.

While there are many reasons behind the lack of decline in sexual activity amongst teenagers, such as supposed apathy towards sexually transmitted diseases and changing attitudes towards sex, there is a definite blame finger pointed at the good folks of abstinence-only education. "We may be witnessing the beginning of a trend where we're reaping the harvest of medically inaccurate and ineffective sex education, which is abstinence-until-marriage sex education," said Michael Resnick, who studies teen sexual behavior at the University of Minnesota. Due to the combination of minimizing the effectiveness of condoms, coupled with the lack of education on how to use a condom, many students will simply opt out of using the contraceptive. If they don't like the way the latex barrier feels, and they believe it is highly ineffective then why bother using it? However, with comprehensive sex education, there is discussion on how effective condoms are, as well as how to incorporate them into your sex life without it becoming too much of a mood killer.

For more information on the recent study, LINK.

Posted in Yay Amerrrrca, Education, Abstinence, Sexual Health, Doing It, Sex, Politics, Desire, Pleasure, Safe Sex, STD, STI | 4 comments

New French AIDS Awareness Ad

Posted by David Khalili Sat, 26 Jan 2008 22:26:00 GMT

First off, yea yea, I know, it's been a long time since I've posted. But hey, I'm a working man and I'm busy studying the ways of Sexuality via SF State. I've been focusing on my thesis, hoping to finish it by May.

I have also been writing for Deviant Nation, where recently I interviewed the spectacular Crispin Glover as well as co-wrote an article on Sex Drive with the lovely Aradia, model extraordinaire of Deviant Nation and all-knowing in the field of biological and physiological aspects of sexuality.

So read up my lovelies.

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As I've posted before, the French are pretty adept at making striking, cute, poignant or intense AIDS awareness advertisements.

For a look at their animated ads Click Here

I wanted to share with you their latest ad entitled "Le Poison." Unfortunately I cannot embed it in this blog. The ad starts with multiple seductive shots of gorgeous bodies writhing and undulating against each other, but as the camera pulls back it reveals something else that comes with sex.

Click here to watch.

Is this effective? What sort of emotions come up for you as you watch this? Is this sex-positive or sex-nagative? Is it just realistic (sans hourglass)? Is it a clever reference to American soap opera Days of Our Lives?

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I'd like to thank the great Slam Johnson for fixing the woes of the server that were afflicting this blog.

Posted in Life, Education, Sexual Health, Cross-Cultural, Doing It, Sex, Desire, Pleasure, Art Rat Tar, HIV, Safe Sex, romance and relationships, STD, STI, AIDS | 2 comments | no trackbacks

Assplay Etiquette

Posted by David Khalili Tue, 28 Aug 2007 06:50:00 GMT

(c) www.electronix.com

I practice emergency medicine in a hospital somewhere in the flyover states. One problem we see again and again is an object which, having been inserted in an anus, cannot be removed without assistance. In many cases this is dangerous to the patient. In some cases surgery is necessary. Some patients end up with permanent debilitating injuries which probably put a damper on their sex lives. I'm sure you can imagine what I mean.

Would you please publish a safety advisory? For the sake of your readers safety, warn them not to put anything up their backsides unless they have a pretty good idea of how they're going to get it back out without my assistance. It would save my colleagues and I a lot of grief and it would save your kinkier readers the odd ileostomy, which is an unpleasant affair. This last is a worst case scenario, but even without complications the means at our disposal are unpleasant for ourselves as well as the patients. Furthermore, by the time they end up in the ER these guys are pretty embarrassed already and I can't exactly tell the nurses not to laugh at them. We try to maintain professional decorum, but when a guy has more than a couple billiard balls up his ass, it's a scratch, and forfeits his game of bunghole billiards. Even if we get them out without difficulty, he's still lost the game to his opponent, who tends to show up about an hour later with some billiard balls in his ass.

It's a social problem and a medical problem and it could be easily addressed with, I don't know, a string and some lube and a bit of planning? Thank you for taking the time to consider this matter.

Kind regards,
Dr Andrew REDACTED, MD

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Dr. REDACTED,

Thank you very much for bringing this need to my attention. I have been meaning to inform my readers of the importance of safe ass playing and your description of what happens in an ER is a great way to get a part of the message out.

Readers: you don't want to risk embarrassment or dramatic urgent surgery at the hands of such juvenile and incompetent physicians, so take up some common sense when exploring your butt hole. What's worse than the fear of having an object securely stuck up your anus than a group of giggling, fresh out of med school twats who can't wait to go to their local watering hole (where all the drinks are invariably served in pyrex) to share stories of the latest patient with a barbie head lodged beyond reach.

Now some tips:

(1) Flange it: Unlike what the doctor said, a string is not the best safety device unless there is a hole in the object to tie it around. However, a prim and proper butt player always uses objects with a flange, meaning there is a wide base at the end in order to ensure the entirety of said object does not get lost in said anus.
(2) Solid it: Never ever ever (say never) use an object that is breakable. Yes, I'm talking about that light bulb in your hand, put it down. I know you like taking risks, but really, risking tiny thin shards of glass lacerating your delicate mucous membrane covered anus is not a risk that would garner you bragging rights like that wicked skateboarding trick you pulled off when you were 13. Always use a solid object.
(3) Sanitize it: Always make sure whatever device or object you're using is safe and clean. That toothbrush that's been sitting next to the toilet seat for years and been collecting dust is not the most sterile thing you can use. Many people think that since the butt is not the most sterile part of your body then it's okay to use non-sterile objects, sorry son not true. Your ass does have bacterium, sure, but it's your OWN bacteria and it wants to stay that way. Any outside forces will be met with grave hostility. I highly recommend using non-porous objects, as in it is made of silicone or hard plastic. Hell, if anything put a condom of it, why don't ya?
(4) Lube Lube Lube: Use it, lube is good for you. Your ass does not create it's own fluids. If you're using condoms to cover your toy or latex gloves to cover your partners hand, don't use oil based lube. If you're using silicone-based toys then DON'T use silicone-based lube. Lube is love.


Click for info on this product

Now I know you people like to try to be creative, but this isn't necessarily an event that Benjamin Franklin crafts store is geared towards. So your best bet is take you and your soon to be filled ass to a well-stocked and well-informed sex shop (Sinsations, Good Vibrations) and buy a toy that follows all three of my above rules. I highly recommend looking for silicone based toys since they are incredibly sterile and easy to clean, Tantus and Vixen Creations are wonderful manufacturers of all silicone-based sex toys.

Happy Butt Browsing!

Other Helpful Articles:

Articles By Tristan Taormino
10 Rules of Anal Sex

Posted in Info, Education, Sexual Health, Doing It, Sex, Questions Answered, Desire, Pleasure, Safe Sex, p-spot, prostate, ass | 3 comments | 9 trackbacks

Common Knowledge on Common STI's

Posted by David Khalili Sat, 07 Jul 2007 03:53:00 GMT

(c) http://www.homohealth.org

Can you get genital warts in the mouth? or transmit it? how common is catching herpes from someone who isnt breaking out? can you get herpes in the nose? can you spread it?
-Levitron

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Genital warts and the mouth: yes and yes. You can get it and transmit it. Gentle Warts can be large or small, round or flat, and are normally painless. The incubation period is around 2 to 4 months. And to top it off, gentle warts are a result of strains 16, 18 and 31 of HPV. Which, if you were reading the news a month or two ago you would believe that oral HPV DEFINITELY gives you oral or throat cancer and you'll die. Only strain 31 can result in cancer, however it's incredibly rare. For more info on the throat cancer debacle check out my blog post here. However, don't get me wrong, I'm not poo-pooing the seriousness of throat or mouth cancer. I'm not the kind to say, "well I heard the jury is still out on science." I'm just making sure people don't get rolled up in the hype, this nation has been using too many scare tactics regarding sex. Thankfully, there is now a vaccine for HPV and Johns Hopkins are doing multiple research studies on HPV and oral cancer.

Herpes and You: Herpes are the fun little sores that can show up on your gentles (cockular region, vulvular region and anular region) or mouth and are brought to you by the good folks at unsafe sex. Sores INSIDE your mouth are NOT herpes, they are canker sores. Oral herpes result in sores outside the mouth on the lips when there is a break out. According the CDC, one in five adolescents and adults have had herpes. If you have herpes and there you are not having an outbreak, you can still transmit the virus to your partner(s). Unfortunately there is no cure for herpes (along with most virus-based STI's), hence that stupid frat-boy joke, "herpes, the gift that keeps on giving."

Herpes and Your Nose: You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, you can pick your friends nose, and if your friend has herpes in the nose you just picked and you put the same finger in your nose and rubbed it about vigorously you can get nasal herpes...maybe.

Posted in Education, Sexual Health, FDA, Pharmo, Doing It, Sex, Questions Answered, HPV, Desire, Pleasure, Safe Sex, STD, STI, ass | 2 comments | 1131 trackbacks

Spinal Cord Injury, Erections and You

Posted by David Khalili Tue, 05 Jun 2007 03:45:41 GMT

My boyfriend was shot in the spine and now he is totally limp... like all over his body. It has been a drag on our sex life, but I can't help wondering if maybe it's just me and the severed spinal chord thing is just an excuse. Because he is also in constant waking pain, he is taking a lot of morphine. I was thinking maybe it's the morphine that's keeping him limp. If I don't figure out a way to fix our sex life soon, I think i'll go crazy - so crazy I could shoot him in the spine. -Double Barrel Blonde

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I received this question shortly after my last post "limp-tastic!". My gut reaction to this is that this is a joke, someone playing funny. My other reaction was that this person was pissed. Either way, I decided to address this issue, whether or not this specific person is facing this specific issue. I recruited the help of my classmate/wicked pissah friend in the Sexuality Studies Program at San Francisco State University. When I first met Bethany she self-identified as an "uppity queer gimp," I knew we would get along just fine. She just finished Law School and is seeking to specialize her focus on sexuality as well as disability issues. She's way more competent in this field than I am, so I am going to ride on her coat tails while she gives fabulous advice.

When I showed this email to Bethany her first reaction was, "I am not sure if it is a joke, she may just be a bitch!" Agreed. Initially, Bethany suggested that such a couple should "focus on mitigating the effects of his disability in order to get reacquainted with sexing each other up." In other words, grope and rub yourselves against each other in as many different ways possible to find out new and adventurous ways to get each other worked up. Secondly, the other best course of action is taking a trip to the doctor. Bethany added, "they tend to be able to offer sexual advice to men with SCI, as opposed to women, so he is lucky he has a cock." This is a great point, since the medical field is largely cock-centered, treatments and knowledge-bases are generally more cock-oriented. Another reason to visit to the doc, says Bethany, is to see if there are chemical means to gain erections, "often something as simple as Viagra works to foster a woodie but in other cases a penis prosthetic might work out, but the latter is rather invasive so try the chemicals first." Other than that, taking a trip to your local sex shop (or online sex shop like Good Vibrations or VIP Online) and purchasing cock rings may be the trick in order to keep blood in the penis to maintain an erection. After the cock ring is put on, "she might try a method of 'stuffing the penis' this method entails sliding the semi-erect or soft phallus into her vagina. She can massage the penis with her PC muscles. This can get her off and perhaps him."

Another important note is the emotional aspect involved in such cases. I can't state it better than Bethany, so I won't:

"...he may just be having issues dealing with his lack of sensate capacity in his phallus. We are all trained in this culture to be orgasm focused and when a man loses his ability to shoot it off, it can be devastating, so she may try talking to him about his feelings with regard to sexuality and express to him that their sex life is not over just because he has lost sensation. Further, they should be encouraged to engage in sexual behavior that is not solely genitalia focused so that he may reclaim his sexual feelings in other parts of his body. He has to restructure his concept of sexuality or he will not be happy with his ability. Communication is, as always, key here. Check out these sources: Info on Spinal Cord Injury and Sexual Health
They can post on this site to seek further help from trained specialists. This a great article about utilizing tantric methods to retrain the soul/mind/body to enjoy sexual pleasure and not just focus on the almighty cockster Article on tantric methods"

Overall, it's definitely a plus to approach this from all sides; physical and emotional....and metaphysical? No. As Bethany put it, this couples' sex life (if this was a joke question, there are still couples out there that face this that actually do exist) is not doomed.

To put it simply, Bethany kicks mad ass, and she's definitely the gimp pimp that she touts herself as. If Bethany's intellect has turned you on to no end (as it should), let me know, tell me why you think you're good enough for her and how you'd treat her like the badass pimp she is, if after review I deem you acceptable, I will pass on the information to her and she may contact you for drinks.

You can learn more about Bethany through the SF State's newspapers online multi-media article on her fabulous self. Click Here Then select "Click to View Multimedia!"

Posted in Info, Friends, Education, Sexual Health, Pharmo, Doing It, Sex, Questions Answered, Politics, Desire, Pleasure, Human Rights, romance and relationships, Disability | no comments | 275 trackbacks

Animated French AIDS Advertisements

Posted by David Khalili Wed, 16 May 2007 12:40:46 GMT

Below are two animated advertisements from France promoting AIDS awareness. The first is the straight version and the second is the gay version. The sex scenes are...well, epic, I must say.

The French have always had a pretty unique/awesome approach at HIV/AIDS awareness.