Posted by David KhaliliFri, 07 Nov 2008 04:47:00 GMT
Image from: www.plateforme-elsa.org
In another addition to my (hopefully) ongoing series of
Clinic Reviews, we are graced
by a review by my senior Parisian Clinic Expert, "Frenchy McFrenchfry." Obviously her name has been changed to protect
her identity, but I am incredibly excited to post her review of what seems to be a fantastic and revolutionary, if
not at times unethical, sexual health clinic in Paris. Please to be enjoy.
I am a fairly straight female, and I went to a clinic in Paris, France. It's a clinic run by the Mouvement Français de Planning Familial
(French Movement for Family Planning), or MFPF. I waited maybe an hour to get in and see the doctor, but not because they were very busy.
A woman came into the waiting room where I was discussing politics with a new waiting-room buddy and welcomed us into a kind of conference
room next door. Once the room was sufficiently filled with nervous-looking French girls, two counselors came in and started asking us what
we knew about contraception, and then they corrected our misconceptions and answered our questions. To my utter astonishment, I learned stuff.
For instance, I had no idea that abortions, if correctly performed, are almost completely harmless to your body, even after your third or
fourth. This is a well-kept secret in the US, apparently. In fact, all the workers at the MFPF were fascinated to hear how all this stuff
works in the Barbarous States of America.
Then came something utterly shocking to me as an Amuhrikan: one of the counselors asked us to disclose private medical information! And many
of the girls complied! Totally illegal back home, if I'm not mistaken, but kind of cool nonetheless because it creates an open environment.
What was not as cool was the actual exam. The doctor was very nice, he would come into the conference every now and then to answer rather
private questions in front of everyone else and to call in the next girl (they weren't exactly strict about appointments, they were like
"who was here first?" and I was like "me," and other girls were like "I have class, can I go first?" and I was like "uh, sure..."). But
once I got in to see him, he seemed to be pretending not to understand my (practically fluent) French, which made giving him the necessary
information very difficult. He was just going to give me my birth control prescription (which I am admittedly dubious about because he
seemed unsure about which French brand to give me) but I had something I wanted him to check out, so he made me undress in a practically
open corner of the room, which I found awkward, and then proceeded to poke and prod without letting me know what he was doing or why.
Then he handed me my pap smear in an envelope and told me to go mail it with a check for 17 euro.
The whole business cost me 22 euro, plus the 17 euro check for the lab, plus the 88 centimes to mail my own pap smear, plus 22.40 for
three months' worth of birth control pills. Hopefully my school insurance will reimburse me. But not shabby, really, even if the experience
was a bit of a culture shock. But here I have to say that the MFPF is pretty amazing, very feminist, very pro contraception, pro giving out
correct information instead of scaring girls into being careful, and anti forced marriage (which is actually a huge problem here). Actually,
a few weeks ago I unwittingly met one of MFPF's founders, and he was very nice.
I'd give this experience a 7 out of 10 for sheer novelty. MFPF is fantastic about contraception, but you should really go to a private practice
if you want anything else done (or are American).
REMINDER: If you would like to write a review of your local sexual health clinic from your perspective, please email me for more information.
Posted by David KhaliliFri, 31 Oct 2008 06:47:00 GMT
As you may have read, two weeks ago I visited the fine San Francisco City Clinic and chronicled my experience
(read here). My main
point with that post was to work against the stigma of going and getting tested. Also to point out that
you shouldn't wait until you see that bump or that goo coming out of your junk to get tested, but to
do your best at going for regular testing. Particularly if you are not in a monogamous relationship but that is
another post all together.
I might as well post my results in interest of self disclosure...I'm clean bitches! I had no worry, but just
like for many other people, getting tested can cause you to have moments of self-doubt.
However, if you find yourself with not so happy results from your recent STD testing and are concerned
about openly telling your past partners, you may consider using an e-card service like
inSPOT. inSPOT is a website that allows you to send anonymous
e-cards to your past sexual partners to let them know that you have an STD and that they might
want to get tested as well. While I prefer honesty, this is better than nothing. Thankfully this site
also offers a list of places that you can get tested based on where you live.
The image above is my favorite, if not only due to its absurd abrasiveness.
Note: I've decided to visit other clinics in San Francisco to review the experience and will post them at a later date. If you are female, FTM,
MTF and/or live outside of San Francisco and would like to write a review of your experience at your local
clinic please contact me, I'd like to post your experience for others to read. You can contact me at
david@omniphilia.com with "Clinic Review" in the subject line.
Posted by David KhaliliSat, 11 Oct 2008 07:39:00 GMT
This is a long post, scroll to bottom for summary
It was time for my routine STD check. After calling a variety of possible clinics I decided upon
SF City Clinic simply because it opened
at 8am, perfectly early enough before work starts. Waking up way to early, I arrived 15 min before the opening. Fuck, there is already 10 people
waiting in line. 10 people as diverse as you can get. Old, young, Black, Latino, Asian, all socio-economic statuses except the uber-wealthy (they have
std checks at home). Right at 8am they let us all file in. Manning the counter is a middle-aged black woman with blonde highlights that match the yellow speckles on her blouse. As we form a line
before the red stripe that "ensures" privacy she calmly says "next," quietly waits for you to walk up and confess to whatever sins you've made. Without a
flinch or change in intonation she asks, "do you have any symptoms? Is this your first time here?" then gives you a number or letter. However, when I
approach I say, "I'm here for a routine check up," without asking if I had been here before she simply gives me number and informational sheet and gives me that look that tells me to walk away. At this
point I'm not sure if it was "better" that I got a number or letter.
We all sit in a DMV-like setting. Some more nervous than others. Some more "anonymous" than others. Number 36 is a tall, skinny, blonde man, he was the
"lucky one," lucky in that he was first in line. They called his number from the front of the room and he follows, only to return moments later.
Five minutes pass, "number 36" is called and he walks back to the front hallway. Again, he returns moments later. Another five minutes and a door open
behind us all, an older black woman in a lab coat soothingly breaks the silence, "good morning, number 36?" I'm reminded of a weird mash-up between the
films Brazil, Hitchhikers Guide, and the opening scene to Joe vs the Volcano. If only Abe Vigoda was here to offer me orange soda
as a gift, if only.
It's difficult to figure out if the jittery guy sitting next to me is nervous because he's symptomatic, had a risky sexual experience that he regrets or
just doesn't like waiting. He lifts the newspaper to his face over and over, stands up, paces, and sits down until his letter his called.
As an unspoken rule, eye contact is forbidden. I tested this theory with a few people. Yep, verbotten.
I try to get figure out similarities between those who got numbers, nothing visible. I guess the letters are reserved for those who are symptomatic.
To the side of the waiting area there's a poorly painted mural of what seems to be a tropical jungle. At the top is a painted flowing banner which
reads "if it's magic why can't it be everlasting?" this can be construed in a multitude of ways, some more encouraging than other.
After waiting 50 min I'm called for the first time. The first time they call your number is to obtain your general information to an older Asian woman
who boarders on sassy and maternal. She tells you to create a password so that you can confidentially check your results online within a week. At the end
she asks if I'd like to make a $10 donation. In my own way I figure this is a way to grease their palms and bump me up the list, getting me seen earlier.
I oblige.
On one of the cubicle walls facing the waiting room is perhaps the most bizarre public health ad campaign posters I've seen. It reads "dogsaretalking.com
-- get tested for syphilis" with a paw print where the o's should be. Accompanied by a picture of a frenchie, dachshund, lab and bulldog, all of puppy age.
A heavy set clinician pops her head out of a door, glasses hanging down her nose. She calls out "42." no answer. "number 42," no answer. She sighs,
"four-two." yep, this reminds me of the mash-up film I mentioned earlier.
30 min after I was first checked in, a doctor calls my number. An incredibly personable physician, with sensitivity, care and a non-chalant attitude she
took my sexual and drug history. Who I've slept with, what sexual acts, how many people, what kind of drugs I've taken and how often.
At which point she would get excited (but not sexually) about a drug I had taken or sexual experience I'd had. She did an incredibly good job at
making me feel like I was talking to a long-time friend about my personal history. She didn't
seem too worried by my history and made a few jokes that weren't canned, but sincere. Handing me a cup and brown bag, she asked me to fill the cup with
my pee-pee as she finished her side of the paper work. As I walked to the restroom, the same heavy set spectacled
physician could be heard sighing "fourTY two!?" I come back and give my doctor my pee cup, she checks my hands for syphilis sores (none), chest for
rashes (none), and my diiiiick for abnormalities (none).
I then wait again, this time for 10 min to get my blood test, not a bad waiting period. My blood was taken by a Puerto Rican version of one of my sweetest aunts.
As she withdrew my blood she spoke to me in a thick accent rattling on about life, giving me tips, telling me to save money and travel. With ease she
finished up her phlebotomist task and accented it with minorly complaining about working for the city.
In Summary
Overall time: 2 hours.
I had an overall positive experience at the
San Francisco City Clinic. However, I came in knowing that I would be spending a lot of time waiting.
The employees ranged from disgruntled city workers to sincere physicians who were excited to work with "the community." Bring a book and expect to
deal with the basic beauracracy. If you are able to go to
Magnet,
Planned Parenthood or any other clinic during the middle of the day, I'm sure it would be worth while.
If you have decent insurance, you might as well take advantage of that and get tested there. However, overall SF City Clinic was not bad at all.
They also have certain hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays if you currently have symptoms.
SF City Clinic www.dph.sf.ca.us
356 7th St
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 487-5500
Posted by David KhaliliThu, 02 Oct 2008 23:36:44 GMT
(c) cpap.com
As someone who occasionally suffers from sleep apnea -- okay, more than occasionally -- let me start this post with an "awwww fuck."
In a recent issue of American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine, a report outlined how sleep apnea and erectile dysfunction
in men can be closely related. By studying mice over a period of five weeks, the researchers discovered that those who had experienced lack of
oxygen during sleep had less frequent erections than those who had a healthy amount of oxygen intake while sleeping. "But David, mice aren't humans."
Shut up, it's close enough to cause concern, don't you think? Now, I know I've been laissez faire in the past about issues of animal torture, retarded
ejaculation and so on. But erectile dysfunction is an epidemic that needs to be taken care of immediately people. No, I'm not biased.
Ok, yes I am.
But in all seriousness, I find this interesting in that overall health can in fact effect sexual health *gasp*. Lord
knows that staying up for days on illicit substances, endless cups of coffee and roaming around town for the latest thrill
adds a certain amount of excitement that can go hand in hand with a sense of sexual glamor. However, there's got to be some happy
medium folks. THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY! (end infomercial voice) How about I put it this way, the saying "whiskey dick" is a well-known
term for a reason peoples. Increasing circulation throughout your body, which is helped by enough oxygen in the brain during sleep, will increase
circulation in your deliciously naughty bits, which in turn makes you grasp the sheets/counter top/fence at the edge of the cliff and
thank your self for being healthy enough to have some damn good orgasms.
Speaking of sleep apnea, I have heard that taking up the didgeridoo strengthens the throat muscles in a way that can curb such a sleep disorder.
I don't know folks, but you may start hearing me talk about my recent "didge sesh."
Looks like abstinence-only education advocates are taking another hit after the findings of a large-scale survey on teen sexual activity
were recently released. This large government study stated that there is no longer a decline in teenage sexual activity since 2007 and that
condom use has leveled out since 2003. This comes after a report that 1 in 4 teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease and that
teen birthrate has increased for the first time in 15 years.
While there are many reasons behind the lack of decline in sexual activity amongst teenagers, such as supposed apathy towards sexually transmitted diseases and changing
attitudes towards sex, there is a definite blame finger pointed at the good folks of abstinence-only education. "We may be witnessing the beginning of
a trend where we're reaping the harvest of medically inaccurate and ineffective sex education, which is abstinence-until-marriage sex education,"
said Michael Resnick, who studies teen sexual behavior at the University of Minnesota. Due to the combination of minimizing the effectiveness
of condoms, coupled with the lack of education on how to use a condom, many students will simply opt out of using the contraceptive. If
they don't like the way the latex barrier feels, and they believe it is highly ineffective then why bother using it? However, with comprehensive
sex education, there is discussion on how effective condoms are, as well as how to incorporate them into your sex life without it becoming too
much of a mood killer.
Posted by David KhaliliTue, 03 Jun 2008 18:25:13 GMT
(C) Associated Press
Earlier this month in New York, a 35-year-old man ingested "The Black Stone," an apparent aphrodisiac that was banned by the FDA.
Why would the FDA ban an aphrodisiac? They're such buzz kills, eh? They're prudish, sex-negative ne'er do wells. Well that
might be the case, however "Black Stone" is made from toad venom which contains chemicals that may disrupt heart rhythms. It's
like the Botox (which contains botulism) for the sexed. The product is also known as Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone and Chinese Rock.
At least six men have died from ingesting this substance since the early 1990's. For more information,
click here.
While this is not an epidemic, this is another "aphrodisiac" thats marketed and sold in sex shops and head shops that not only
does nothing to raise the sexual spirits for the night, but could be harmful. For example Spanish Fly does nothing for your sexy mood,
but has been known to burn the mouth and throat, cause scarring of the urethra and even death (FDA).
Be very cautious about which aphrodisiacs you purchase, other than chocolate and oysters (unless you're allergic, of course). I'd
recommend avoiding purchasing aphrodisiacs from shady sex shops, head shops and vending machines in bathrooms of truck stops.
Posted by David KhaliliMon, 24 Mar 2008 21:07:51 GMT
(Via advocate.com)
Thomas Beatie, a loving husband in a quiet town in Oregon wrote his first person account of deciding to carry him and his wifes first child. Thomas is a transgender male who had gone through a mastectomy and began taking hormones years ago. Legally he is a male, therefore he is legally married to his wife Nancy. He and his wife decided to have a child, however Nancy was unable to carry a child to term. With great consideration, Thomas decided to cease his testosterone treatment and carry their child.
In this first-person account Thomas explain the process he went through, including being faced with discrimination from doctors, health care professionals, and receptionists.
What I thoroughly enjoy about this first-person account is how Thomas explains that his male gender identity has not been compromised by his pregnancy.
Does the discrimination Thomas and his wife faced surprise you? What about Thomas explaining that his male identity has not been compromised? Your identity is who you are, your identity is something you do. It is constantly moving and shifting, at any given time you are negotiating with it.
This is not just a story about a trans-man who is pregnant, it's a story about reproductive rights, about identity, about family, about societal norms and values.
I wish Thomas and his wife, Nancy, the best, I truly hope that they do not face any more discrimination, but are left to be in a healthy family that they have worked so hard to be in.
Posted by David KhaliliSat, 26 Jan 2008 22:26:00 GMT
First off, yea yea, I know, it's been a long time since I've posted. But hey, I'm a working man and I'm busy studying the ways of Sexuality via SF State. I've been focusing on my thesis, hoping to finish it by May.
I have also been writing for Deviant Nation, where recently I interviewed the spectacular Crispin Glover as well as co-wrote an article on Sex Drive with the lovely Aradia, model extraordinaire of Deviant Nation and all-knowing in the field of biological and physiological aspects of sexuality.
So read up my lovelies.
____________________________________________
As I've posted before, the French are pretty adept at making striking, cute, poignant or intense AIDS awareness advertisements.
I wanted to share with you their latest ad entitled "Le Poison." Unfortunately I cannot embed it in this blog. The ad starts with multiple seductive shots of gorgeous bodies writhing and undulating against each other, but as the camera pulls back it reveals something else that comes with sex.
Is this effective? What sort of emotions come up for you as you watch this? Is this sex-positive or sex-nagative? Is it just realistic (sans hourglass)? Is it a clever reference to American soap opera Days of Our Lives?
______________________________________________
I'd like to thank the great Slam Johnson for fixing the woes of the server that were afflicting this blog.
Posted by David KhaliliWed, 10 Oct 2007 07:31:27 GMT
(c) jupiterimages.com
A reader wants to know more about body language in terms of flirting her ass goodbye...I mean hello.
____________________________________________
Body language, or non-verbal behavior as scientists or esoteric univeristy students call it, is one of the main
ways of communicating with other people. Body language tells people what your mood is, how your day was,
and how you feel about those around you. How do you utilize body language in a way to let the person(s) you're
interested in that you want to get busy with them without whispering "I want to feel you inside me"?
Some of the sexiest experiences I have had involved simply subtle body language with no overt sexually charged
speaking or touching. What was involved included coy eye contact, paced breathing, "accidental" slight touching,
and getting close without getting on.
Mastering eye contact is dependent on a person to person basis. One person's coy and sultry eye contact is
another persons creepy and stalker-core staring. What I normally recommend is holding eye contact just a bit
longer than feels comfortable. You catch the persons eyes and right when you feel the urge to pull away and
pretend that you're looking at that one spot on the wall just two inches above their head, keep looking at them
for perhaps a second or two more. How about below your eyes, what do you do with those lips? Barring licking your
lips and fluttering your tongue, there are a few options. One is obviously smiling, but how much of a smile? This
depends on what your going for. If you're going for the flirtatious and sultry approach, a slight smirk
accompanied by the knowledgable smile is hot hot hot. If you're going for the cute approach then a big, tooth glimmering
grin will let the other know that you're playful, funny and like to take it in the ass (ok, maybe not exactly).
Then there's the Gary Oldman bad boy or Dita Von Teese bad girl sneer. So your smile that accompanies that second of
extra eye contact depends of if your cute, flirtacious or fierce(!).
Proximity is another important factor in flirting with an interest. How close you are to the other person will
offer a world of information to them. When you're done exchanging eye winks (or pretending like you have
something stuck in your eye) from across the room and go up and talk, how close should you get? This is where
I usually recommend the slow and steady wins the race option. I'm not recommending this because I'm a prude,
I'm just of the belief that prolonging sexin' can be incredibly hot. So attempting to balance on the fine
line of flirting and nunnery can be hard to master. By reading the other persons body cues you can gauge how
much closer you can get. When you lean in just a tad bit do they jump back as if they had seen a blood-covered
spider? If yes then moving closer is probably not your best move. Do they lean back into you? Then keep up the
good work! Just remember that continuing the playful flirting dance without seeming like a tease can raise
the hot factor up several points.
"Accidental" touching falls in line with proximity. The occasional slight touch can cause sparks or send shivers
(bad shivers). This makes it a good gauge on how things are going between you and the interest. Obviously I'm
not advising the "oops I tripped and now my hand is on your junk" approach. This primarily includes the slight
grazing of your hand against the other persons arm, back, thigh (or inner thigh). Speaking of inner thighs,
are you and the person and the hand on the lap phase but not much? Or are you in a sexual relationship
and want to send the other a message without verbally saying it. The hand on the knee, to thigh, to the inner
thigh is a great approach (keep in mind this is an approach when you KNOW the other person is comfortable
with you!).
The whole attraction with flirting is that when you cannot or are not comfortable talking openly about your
sexual/romantic interest in another person, you can use subtle cues to get your message across. By keeping
up with a proper amount of eye contact and keeping yourself close and interested to the other person, you're
likely to send out the message. At which point you will pretty much be able to grasp whether or not the
other person(s) shares the interest.
